


C'mere Bear, C'mere Lion.

by maddiemeep



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Drinking, Existential Crisis, Fluff, Homophobic Language, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Self-Harm, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2018-10-16 22:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10580673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddiemeep/pseuds/maddiemeep
Summary: He loved him. But it wasn't meant to be. But that's what he thought at first.





	1. Chapter 1

    Phil woke to hear muffled whispers coming from his best friend's room. What had woken him was that fact that Dan had knocked something over in his process of pacing around his room.     This seemed to happen more than Phil wished. And he didn't really like it. Not because he hated his sleep being interrupted, but because he was obviously worried about Dan. He had been pacing around and mumbling to himself more often than usual.  
   
   Phil, being the absolute ray of sunshine and happiness that he is, decided, without much thought, to get up and check on his flatmate.    Phil gently knocked on the door and slowly opened it, to see Dan with tears running down his face and mumbling complete, undecipherable nonsense. Dan froze when he noticed Phil in the doorway. He sniffed and wiped his face dry. Phil walked forward and let out open arms for Dan. The younger boy took the offer and hugged Phil back. Phil pulled away slowly and looked at Dan. He gave a giant smile and playfully ruffled Dan's hair. "Hey!" Dan smiled. "You okay though, Dan?" "M'fine." He quickly anwsered.  
     
Phil began to walk back to his room. "Phil?" He turned around. "Yeah?" "I-uh...would you-um maybe stay with me tonight?" Dan spoke quietly. "Of course Bear!" Phil gave Dan that smile that never failed to make him melt completely and make him wonder how he was so lucky that it was him, on this giant Earth, that was lucky enough to be granted somebody as amazing, sweet, and caring and Philip Lester.  
   
   When they laid down, Phil curled up next to Dan, making him feel so warm and his heart race. Dan hadn't really been sleeping well lately, but whenever he accidentally wakes up Phil and he'll cuddle with him, Dan always sleeps so good (And so does Phil, but he doesn't really know that). "Love you Bear." Phil spoke into Dan's hair, that always smelled good. "Love you too." Dan closed his eyes.  
     
Dan knew that Phil only meant the 'I love you' in a friend-friend kinda way. But, always, there was this part of him that wanted him to mean it in another way. He also knew that he could never have Phil. Phil was too precious and the only thing that seemed to matter to Dan, he worried, that if he told Phil how he felt, and he didn't feel the same, he might loose his best friend. His biffle. And Dan was a mess without Phil.

 

-

 

    Dan's phone went off. It was a message from Phil.

**Phil:Anything you need at the store while I'm out?**

**Dan:Could you get me some cereal for you? ;)**

**Dan: Ik you eat my Cinnomons**

**Phil: I have no idea what you're talking about :)**

 

   Dan set his phone down and smiled at how adorable Phil is. He picked his phone back up to check the time, when he realized it was Tuesday and he should probably do his liveshow.

   
   When everything was set up and everyone had been alerted that he would be doing a liveshow, he hit stream. "Hi." Dan gave a small smile. The chat immediately exploded. "Welcome to the hour chat session with your very own walking meme. How is everyone today?" He proceeded in reading a few aloud that stuck out. "'I want death.' 'Just having another existential crisis.' 'When will it end?' Same guys. Um. 'I'm having a great day, how about you?'" Dan wondered wether he should tell his fans how he's been feeling lately. Would they be able to give him advice, or would they freak out and tell Phil themselves?  
   
  Dan realized after a few minutes that he zoned out on everybody. The chat questioning him more. "I'm fine guys. I'm having trouble thinking about what I want to do with my next video. I might do something I've wanted to do for awhile, but I guess you'll have to wait until I get off my arse and actually do something." Dan looked at the 'I'm fine my bum, Mr. StillPhillTrash#1' and the 'Thinking about Phil?' in the chat. He settled on a less indepth one. "Wheres Phil you ask? Believe it or not, but Phil and I are not joined at the side. He has his own life and freewill. He's at the store currently, okay?"  
     
Dan's liveshow was going great, they even had an online debate about ducks. How and why? Dan had no idea. It was all great until Dan heard Phil walking through the house with way more than he could carry. Dan looked back at the screen. The fans never failed to overreact at the smallest thing. "That's Phil. I'm going to help him with the groceries, can yall wait a few minutes?" The chat exploded again. Dan saw a reoccurring answer. "Phil can join us if he wants...but I will ask. Chat with each other until I get back or something."

    Dan walked into the kitchen and dearly scared Phil to death. "Ah! You can't do that!" Phil gripped the counter, now facing Dan. "I wasn't trying, I just walked in here." Dan smirked. He started rummaging through some of the bags. "What have you been doing while I was away?" Phil asked. "Oh motherfluffer. I'm doing a livestream. They probably think I've abandoned them." "Can I join you for the last half? We can put these up later." Dan smiled at Phil and began to walk back, Phil following behind him.  
   
   They sat on the floor together and Phil waved happily at the fans happily. "See guys. I can do something right. I caught an AmazingPhil!" Dan threw the nearest pillow at Phil. "Hey!" Phil sat back upright and began to hit Dan back with the pillow. "Ah!" Dan began laughing. "Animal abuse!" "Shut up, Bear!" Dan managed to sit up and grab another pillow and fight back. They were both laughing and Dan began blushing violently.  
   
   Wait. Did Phil just say Bear, on camera? In front of thousands of people, live? Dan stopped hitting Phil and looked back at the fans. "Um." He scooted closer and looked at the chat. 'Aww', 'Phan proof', 'This has made my day', and even 'My fangirl heart has exploded, this is so cute' varied in the mess of excitement. "Well guys, it's been way over an hour and I think we should go. Yall can freak out now. Bye." Dan didn't expect them to drop this. He hit 'end livestream'.  
   
   Phil was still sporting a sweet smile. "Sorry." What his he apologizing for, Dan thought. Dan began to stand up. "We should probably put the food up now." He extended a hand for Phil. Phil took it and stood up. Except, he kept his hand in Dan's. Dan's felt his cheeks go red again.  
   
   Several hours later, Dan was in his room scrolling through Tumblr. He was seeing a lot of gifs of them having their small pillow fight. He didn't mind it. He just wished he could tell Phil how he felt. He doesn't even know if he feels the same way.

    Before Dan could begin an argument with himself, he closed his laptop, set it down, and went to sleep. He began to have happy dreams of his Lion.


	2. Chapter 2 (How creative)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil was his. But now he wasn't? He couldn't take it. But would he have to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Drama Llama has arrived. I won't say that again.

     They were both eating pancakes and enjoying each other's company when a loud noise came from the dishwasher and made both of them jump. They both looked at it in silence. Then water began to leak out. "Bloody hell!" Dan yelled as he jumped up and ran to get a towel.  
      
Dan emerged again with a few towels in hand, tossing one to Phil. They began to cover the wet area when the same noise reoccurred. They stepped back, as it sounded as if it was about to take off. The front then literally popped off and fell on the floor. Suds went everywhere. And that, was the end of their dishwasher.  
      
    Phil had innocently attached himself to Dan from fright. "Jesus Christ!" Dan walked closer to it. Phil pulled out his phone. "Who are you calling?" Dan asked. "Someone to fix it." "Isn't that gonna cost alot?" "Do you know how to fix it?" Dan shrugged. "Proceed." he gestured towards Phil's phone.  After Phil got off the phone, he walked into the living room. Dan had already assumed his couch crease postion. "They'll be here in a few hours. In the meantime, wanna help me do the dishes?" Phil asked in a way that Dan couldn't refuse, even if he wanted to.   
   
     When they reached the kitchen, Phil began to rinse the dishes. Dan dried them. It was a perfect little system. When Dan was waiting for Phil to finish another plate, he softly smacked Phil's bum with the dishtowel. "Ah!" Phil jumped, and then realized what Dan did. He smirked. He grabbed a nearby dishtowel and tried to do the same to Dan. When he failed, he cupped some suds from kitchen sink and put them in Dan's hair. Dan tried to wipe it out, but only rubbed them in, making his hair curl. "Hobbit!" Phil teased, sticking his tongue out a little when he laughed. Dan grabbed some suds as well and tried to put them in Phils hair, but failed horribly and ended up tackling him to the ground. Dan was on top of Phil and awfully close to his face. They stopped laughing and looked into each other's eyes. Dan's heart was racing as he inched closer to Phil's face and his beautiful lips. Phil didn't stop him. He closed his eyes and anticipated Dan's kiss.   
   
     The door bell rang [I'm sorry]. They both turned their attention towards the sound. "That's probably the person that's gonna fix our devil dishwasher." Phil said softly. "Yeah. Um-okay."Dan shifted off of Phil and helped him up. Dan ran to his room.   
     
     Phil went to the door and slowly opened it to see a man, slightly taller and obviously much more built. He had blonde, slightly wavy hair and green eyes. He was handsome and he knew it. He extended his hand and Phil shook it. "I'm Alexander. But you can call me Alex." He smiled. "I-I'm Phil. Um. Come in." Phil opened the door more and lead Alex towards the kitchen. "And this is the beast that almost killed us." Phil gestured towards the dishwasher. Alex laughed a little bit. "Us?" He looked at Phil. "My flatmate, Dan. He's probably in his room on Tumblr." Phil giggled, while Alex frowned.   
    
     Dan slammed his door. You were so close. He didn't stop you. He wasn't going to stop you. Damn Dan. This is your fault. You could've kissed him. Why are you so awkward! Dan continued yelling to himself in his head and kicked the side of his piano. Dan recoiled and slumped to the ground, back against the piano. He let his tears fall. He hoped Phil wouldn't walk in. Phil. Wait. What was Phil doing? Hm.   
   
      Now is the time, Dan decided. If he didn't tell Phil how he felt now, he never would. Because he wanted to be way more than friends with Phil. He wanted to hold Phil in his arms and never let go. He wanted them to hold hands because Phil had the softest skin in the world. He wanted Phil to kiss him. He wanted everything Phil and more. Now was the time.  
     
     Dan crept out of his room. He slowly walked down the hallway, very quietly. When Dan reached the end of the hallway, he gathered all of his courage and was about to walk into the kitchen, when he saw Phil and this other man. This man that was supposed to be fixing their dishwasher. This man who was giggling with his Phil. This man who-"Alex! Please, Muse is the best band. You have to agree." They both began to giggle again. Alex. Dan's heart crumpled. Dan turned around without Phil's acknowledgment, without Phil's love, without happiness [I'm twisting the knife sorry <3]. 

       "Well Phil I think I'm done here." Alex clapped his hands together. "You have been a beautiful assistant." Phil blushed. "And here's my number incase the demon comes back. Oh and...would you want to go out for coffee later today?" "Uh-um. Yes of course." Alex handed Phil a small piece of paper with a number on it and hugged Phil.   
   
    When Alex left, Phil went to search for Dan to tell him all about how amazing Alex is. But, where was Dan? "Dan...Dan! DAN?" Phil yelled throughout the flat. Phil saw the light on in the bathroom. No. Phil didn't knock on the door. He ripped the door open and saw Dan curled up in the bathtub. Nononono, Phil thought. Dan didn't look at Phil, he couldn't. Phil saw red. He grabbed a nearby towel and ran over to his Bear. He climbed into the bath and hugged Dan. Phil took the newly opened razor (They're so boyish they usually don't have to shave) and threw it across the bathroom. "I-I'm so-rry Phil...I-I..." Dan chocked on a sob. He curled into Phil as his love put the towel on the few, thank God, not-so-deep cuts. Phil shook his head in disbelief that Dan would've even thought about doing this to himself.   
   
      "C'mere Bear." Phil carried Dan bridal style to his room and laid Dan underneath Phil's green and blue covers. Why, Phil thought. Dan fell asleep immediately when Phil took him in his arms. Yet, Phil couldn't fall asleep at all.  
     
     Dan woke several hours later to Phil getting out of bed as quietly as possible, but failing obviously, as he has woken Dan. "W-where are you going?" "I'm going out okay? Stay in bed please." Phil hated leaving Dan like this, but he was also too kind to stand up Alex. One date couldn't hurt, or could it?

    Before getting ready, Phil went to the bathroom to clean the bath since Dan's blood was still there. After he was finished, he decided he needed to freshen up a little bit. While fixing his fringe, he saw, out of the corner of his eye, the razor Dan used. He shook his head while disposing of it. Phil took the liberty of hiding all of the other razors for Dan's safety. He walked out of the flat and texted Alex that he was on the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day? What?! We've got major exams this week, so I hope this can do if I can't update.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He'll always love him. Even if it's not how he wants to.

When Dan heard Phil leave the flat completely, he got out of bed. Yes, Phil told him to get some sleep, but Dan couldn't sleep without Phil. Dan trudged over to his room and sat at his piano. He began to play pieces of different songs. It calmed him. But then he thought of Phil. He remembered that Phil once told Dan that he loved watching him play the piano, how his hands moved gracefully along the keys. Dan always thought he was crap at the piano, but when Phil told him he sounded good, it made him feel good. But, thinking about Phil right now made Dan feel worse. Phil literally saw Dan cut himself. Dan grew angry and banged his hands against the keys, emitting an awful sound from the piano.  
      
    Dan needed another distraction. Something that wouldn't remind him of Phil. But he couldn't think of anything because Phil literally was Dan's life. Defeated, Dan got on his laptop and thought about making a YouTube video. He hasn't really had any communication with the internet since his pillow fight with Phil...Phil. Besides, The Phandom would probably just ask about Phil and make Dan sadder.

    Dan walked to the kitchen wondering if he should eat something. He didn't feel like making anything so he grabbed a water bottle and went to the living room. He could never watch anime without Phil. Dan really didn't know what to do with himself. He took a few sips of his water and went back to Phil's room. He got underneath the covers and smelled the sheets and pillows. Dan loves how Phil smells. Because, for some reason, Phil always smelled good to Dan. The only thing Dan could somehow manage to do was sleep.   
       
     
    Phil walked in the humid weather towards the Starbucks that he and Dan would always go to. Phil mentally giggled at the fact that if Dan was with him, his hair would be seriously curling because of the weather. Dan. How could he do that to himself. Was it because of me? He felt odd going there without Dan. Whenever he arrived at Starbucks, he saw Alex sitting patiently for Phil. Alex was out of his grimy work attire, now suiting a body-engulfing beige turtleneck and dark brown skinny jeans.   
    When Alex noticed Phil, he stood up and gave him a hug. They both sat down. "I didn't know exactly what you wanted so I just got you a regular coffee." Alex pushed it towards Phil. "Thanks."   
      
    Alex and Phil talked for a little while about different things and seemed to get along very well, but Alex could tell something [or somebody (; ] else was on Phil's mind. Alex was one of those people that could read your emotions easily. Even if you tried to hide it. "What's up?" Alex looked at Phil with a small, concerned look. Phil smiled, attempting to brush it off, but Alex knew better. Phil sighed. "It's my flatmate Dan." Phil started off. "Here we go again." Alex mumbled. "What?" Phil questioned. "It's just...Dans the only thing you've been talking about." Phil looked at Alex. He didn't realize until now how much he actually had been talking about Dan. They do everything together though, how could Dan not be accidentally mentioned in a conversation. But, come to think of it, Phil really was worried about Dan.

    "Do you want to talk about it?" Alex rested his hand ontop of Phil's and it made Phil a little uncomfortable, but he didn't want to be rude so he left it be. "Dan has been acting...different lately. He's obviously not been getting good sleep because he has circles under his eyes. And he's been mumbling more and I caught him cutting himself yesterday. And he almost kis-" Phil stood up. Alex knew he liked Phil, but he also knew that someone else liked Phil. Alex stood up as well and put his hands on Phil's shoulders. "You have a man at your flat that obviously is in love with you. Now-" Alex looked into Phil's icy blue eyes. "-You can call me if you ever want to talk in friend kinda way. But... I think Dan has feelings you and I have gotten in the way." Was Alex seriously apologizing for liking Phil? "And you seemed occupied, so go home and tell him how much you love him." The small boost of confidence, Phil turned around. He was glad Alex was being so nice about the whole situation. Before Phil was too far away, Alex playfully smacked Phil's arse in an attempt to be funny. When Phil exited the Starbucks, he awkwardly scratched his elbow at the new emptiness he felt. At least Phil will be happy, he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knew my writing skills could actually degrade?! Sorry for this short, crappy chapter. I just wanted to give yall something to read.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He needed to forget. But he needed to find him.

    Dan hadn't eaten since the dishwasher dilema. What was the point, he thought. Nothing like actual emptiness to express how he felt. Dan knew Phil had went out with Alan. That has his name, right? And you actually thought he returned your feelings, he thought. HA! Dan began to laugh which soon became a chocked sob. He couldn't distract himself from Phil. He needed to forget. It was obvious to him that Phil did not love him like he did. Dan got an idea. He hadn't done this as often because of Phil and letting drunk Dan spill his secrets. Dan didn't comb his curly hair. He didn't change from his bloodied clothes. Angry scares now visable on his once soft, pure skin. His dark circles were worse. But he didn't care. His goal was the bar, to not completely avoid his problems, just to temporarily not remember. He knew that when he comes back to reality, that it would be worse, but that obviously didn't matter right now. Dan left the flat and began towards the place where people with problems go.

 

Phil didn't need a bus. He was filled with worry, but his confidence and happiness was showing through. Phil, a Lion who stayed in his den and hated exercise, ran back to his flat. Of course Dan would be there and there was no point in running, but Phil couldn't wait to finally tell Dan how he feels. Phil loved Dan. He really did. But didn't he always love him? But no, this was different. Phil knew it was. Why else did his heart speed up when Dan almost kissed him? Why else did he wait for Dan to kiss him? Why would he hold Dan's hand just long enough for it not to be normal? Or put his head in Dan's lap? God Phil wanted to kiss Dan. He wanted to show him how much he loved him. He wanted to let Dan know how he was only his. 

    Phil stopped at the door of their flat and was about to search for a key but tried the door first to find it unlocked. Oh no, Phil thought. Phil's emotions and thoughts literally stopped when Dan didn't answer when he called out. Phil ran through the house. No Dan. His heart sunk when he saw that wherever he went, he left his phone. There wasn't any way to contact his Bear.  Phil sunk to the ground. Tears began to fall down his face as he rocked back and forth on the floor. 

   He needed to find Dan. 

   Phil racked his brain. Where could he be? Alex! Yes, Alex could maybe help him look for Dan. Phil texted Alex and he told Phil he would look around town. Phil got up and collected himself. When he went outside he began to shout Dan's name, with no answer in return. After a few hours of searching and asking around if anyone had seen a man of Dan's description, with no avail, Phil knew it was really late and he should probably go home, but he couldn't give up on Dan. He continued his search.

 

    Dan slouched on his creaky stool as he downed another shot of...whatever it was he was drinking. When the bartender asked what he wanted, he told him something to forget, and jeez it was working. Dan's head began to hurt and his stomach turn. His mind was a little fuzzy but he decided that that was okay. 

    It was all going great until somebody tapped on his shoulder. God I hope it's not a fan, I'm literally a wreck, he thought. He turned around to see a man slightly taller than him and seemed to be sporting a very sweet, warm smile. "Hi. Um..." He looked like he was having some kind of crisis, only to change his expression slightly. He extended his hand. "I'm..Gregory. Greg for short. I watch your videos, I'm a real fan. I feel like I can really relate to you strongly on some things." Damn. Dan suddenly became very aware of the mess he looked like. Before he felt any awkwarder, he shook Greg's hand. All of a sudden, Greg's grip became very strong. He yanked Dan foward off of his stool and threw him against the wall. Dan let out a yelp, he was already very weak, considering his current circumstances. Greg took Dan's wrists and pinned them to the wall above his head without much trouble, now Dan was completely helpless. He moved his face closer to Dan's face and whispered in his ear. "A little birdy told me you liked a Lion. But is that a Bear's place in this world? Phil will never love you. He's happy without the burden that is you. Go kill yourself." Dan didn't need Greg to hurt him physically for him to feel pain. His words were enough. But, Greg was not done. Of course he wasn't. He took a step back and punced Dan in the face. He punched him again. Dan felt numb. Greg let go of Dan and he fell to the floor because his legs had failed him. Just to make sure he got his point across, Greg kicked Dan in the stomach. He curled up on the floor. Dan opened his eyes as Greg walked out, to realize that the blonde looked familiar. But he couldn't remember from where. 

 

    Phil was beginning to loose hope. He got a message from Alex about half an hour ago, that he hadn't seen Dan anywhere and he was going to get home. Phil realized it was late and was about to turn back to go to the flat, but then saw something on the street. What is that, he thought. Phil walked up closer to the now closed bar, to see a man curled up, sleeping. Phil, still being so kind, got closer and gently shaked the man awake. He had to see if he was okay, and if he needed a place to stay for the night. When the man looked up, Phil realized that this wasn't just any confused drunk. It was his confused drunk, all bruised and more bloody than before. He was obviously drunk and couldn't stand for more than just that reason. 

    Phil picked up Dan and began to carry him (bridal style), to the flat. They really needed to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I would like to apologize for this chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could he really love him?

   When they got to the flat, Phil rushed Dan to the bathroom. He sat Dan ontop of the counter and went to quickly get some water. On his way back to Dan, Phil's phone began to blow up with notifications. He looked to see what celebrity was pregnant, when he realized that it was a picture of Phil carrying Dan. Dan obviously drunk, beaten, and bloody. Scars visible, thinner than usual, and dark circles. Dan was an absolute mess, while Phil was showing a worried expression. Could you blame him? Rumors were already spreading. Frustrated, Phil turned his phone off and chucked it across the room. He to, had now cut off communication with the internet.

   Phil ran back to Dan, who wasn't having much trouble sitting upright since he was sobering up a little bit, and handed him the water. He graciously took it and avoided eye contact with Phil. Phil wanted all of this to be behind them, he wanted his regular Dan back. The Dan who would have made a sarcastic remark already! "Is it all just on your face?" Phil asked while looking at Dan with a warm, loving look. Dan shook his head. He wouldn't even talk? Phil's chest panged with hurt. Have I really affected Dan this much, he questioned. Phil moved his hands to Dan's jumper and pulled it off of him.  Phil began to doctor Dan. The silence was so loud. "You know... I don't like Alex...romantically..." Dan finally met Phil's eyes. Dan knew what people meant when they said eyes are a window to the soul, because when he met Phil's gaze, he felt those damn eyes deep inside him. "P-phil..." Dan took Phil's hand. "I love you. And not like I used to. You are the best thing that's happened to me, but I understand if you don't want me here anymore, I've made such a mess of everything and-" Phil cut off Dan's rambling by kissing him. Dan melted into it and kissed back. Phil held Dan's face in his hands now. They kissed again except this time it was more passionate and heated. Dan ran his fingers though Phil's hair, tugging on it a little bit, earning a small yelp from Phil. Dan smirked into the kiss. Dan suddenly became aware of the fact that he didn't have a shirt on. Insecure, even around Phil, he reached for his jumper and put it back on.

     Phil picked up Dan again and they went to Phil's room. He gently laid down Dan and got under the covers himself. Dan got closer to Phil and wrapped an arm around his waist. When they were comfortable, Phil's sweet voice broke the silence. "I love you too." It didn't take long for both of them to fall asleep. And for the first time in awhile, Dan had a good nights sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is short.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm terrible for not updating. So, just for yall, a full deserved chapter of fluff. Yall need it after the torture I've subjected yall to.

   Phil woke to a cold side. Where was his warm Bear? Wiping the sleep from his eyes, he trudged to the kitchen to see Dan making pancakes. Phil watched as Dan successfully flipped one of the pancakes that he was making for his Lion. As Dan started whisking another, Phil crept up behind Dan and wrapped his hands around Dan's waist, setting his head on his shoulder. Dan continued whisking. "Did I not scare you?" Phil asked quietly. "You weren't exactly quiet." 

    Dan continued cooking while Phil stayed holding him"Here. I've got pancakes for both of us." Dan pulled away from Phil and brought both of the plates into the living room, Phil trailing behind. When they sat down, Phil realized there was a cup of coffee on the table that Dan had already made him. "Isn't somebody in a gracious mood." Phil said as he took a sip of his still warm coffee. 

   They ate in a happy silence as they watched anime, though Dan couldn't really pay attention to whatever was going on on the screen, because he was too preoccupied staring at Phil. "Dan what did they just say?" Phil looked back at Dan. "Hm?" "Exactly." Phil grabbed the remote amd turned the TV off. "Next time we watch it, you're not gonna have a clue to what is going on!" Dan shrugged. And then it hit Dan. "Phil? What about the fans?" Dan watched Phil's  expression grow to serious thought. "We don't have to tell them if you don't want to. But, we haven't really had any communication with society in a little while..." "I guess you're right. The last thing they've seen is our little pillow fight on YouNow. I gues-" Phil stopped Dan. "Correction Bear, somebody posted a picture of me carrying you back to the flat. Without much context, a lot of different rumors have been going around." Dan ran his fingers through his hair. Phil rubbed his back in an attempt to comfort him. "We don't have to tell them anything, in fact it might be fun to tease them a bit[aka what they do every damn video]. But, we've gotta give them something. There's obviously a portion of the Phandom that's actually worried, okay?" "Okay. So what kind a video do you want to do?" "Well, a livestream would be easier to answer their questions. But we wouldn't be able to edit out something stupid." "Let's just do a YouNow vid. I'll send a tweet. We can stream it on yours Lion." 

    "Hello internet." Dan started. Phil made an odd sound effect that made Dan giggle like an idiot. Chat implodes. Phil began to read a few.

"Yay! Yall are still alive!"

"R yall married now?"

"What's the truth?!"

  They looked at each other and Phil let out a soft sigh. Dan interlaced his fingers with Phil's and looked back at the fans. At that moment, all around the world, thousands of people were holding their breath. "We hit a little bump in our friendship, but we're better than ever now." Phil said as he gave everyone that sweet smile that could make anyone melt. They sat in silence a minute. "Fuck it." Phil said as he tackled Dan and their lips collided. They began to make out, Phil ontop of Dan.

    Not only did this scare the actual crap out of Dan, but Phil usually didn't curse, which made Dan want him more. But he knew the fans were still watching. He softly pushed Phil back. Dan whispered in his ear. "Wouldn't want to show them what a Dad you actually are on camera, now would you?" They took a moment to sit back up and fix their hair. "Um...you may phangirl now." Dan said as Phil giggled. The Phandom was supportive, but completely flipping their shits. "We're gonna let yall absorb this. We just wanted to let everyone know that we're alright and I will be continuing my job of eating Dan's cereal." Dan looked at Phil. "See, he even admitts to it, yet nothing changes. Haha. Okay, bye everyone." Phil ended the liveshow. "It wasn't that bad." "Phil, now theres no way we can deny that somethings going on between us." "So?" Phil planted a soft, quick kiss on Dan's forehead. Phil knew Dan was hesitant about sharing this new side of them to the world, but they would've figured it out sooner or later. And this way, it'll just be easier on them, rather than hiding their love like it's forbidden. "Hey." Dan looked up. "Order pizza and cuddle?" Dan's face lit up. How was I so lucky to get Phil, he thought.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is late. I was busy being the lazy vampire I am(a lazy vampire without data or wifi). Also, seen as I usually listen to Melanie Martinez while writing new chapters, explains the emotional rollercoaster, I was listening to MCR, so yeah. Thought I'd put that out there.

Phil woke up on the couch, their limbs tangled. He didn't want to wake up his peaceful Bear, so he took the time to relish Dan's beauty. He hadn't straightened his hair in a while so the messy curls fell perfectly on his face. Yet, Phil still felt the urge to brush them back a little so he could kiss Dan's forehead. He began to stir. "Mhm. What time is it?" Dan said as he yawned [bet you just yawned, i did], adjusting himself so he could wipe the sleep from his eyes. "It's about time that we get up." Dan protested and clung to Phil. "Daaan. Come on, I'm hungry." "But you're so warm Lion." Dan buried his face in Phil's chest. Phil finally gave, knowing it would make Dan happy. "Not too much longer though, your cereal is calling my name." Phil teased as he put an arm around Dan's waist and let his free hand run slowly through Dan's hair. 

 

   When they awoke, the sun was setting and they both were starving. "Well...maybe we could go out somewhere. As a date. I saw a really nice place not to far from here if you'd want to go." Dan gave Phil a quick kiss and nodded. "That sounds amazing. I won't take to long to get ready, I know I would probably need more than 24 hours to get my hair straight again." Phil giggled and ruffled Dan's hair. "I think it's cute on you." Dan felt his cheeks turn red.

  After getting ready, they both left the flat together. Since they never get any excise, they both opted to just walk, it wasn't that far anyway. But since Dan had no idea where it was they were going, he walked next to Phil in a comfortable silence. Having bumped into each other lightly several times, the next time their hands brushed, Dan interlaced his fingers with Phil's. Phil knew he was blushing, but continued looking forward. Yet, it still felt so natural. Was that weird? Did they look weird? Nononono, he thought, none of that matters. Phil looked at Dan. Not at all. 

   When they arrived, they found out how dimly lit the place was. Though not being able to make out most of their surroundings, they did see brick walls and hanging plants that gave it a nice, cozy look. A kind waiter brought them to their table and asked what they wanted to drink before heading for the kitchen. Unlike regular restaurants, the tables were all different shapes, yet very modern and a nice shade of black. Instead of having regular chairs, they noticed that they only had stools. Dispite the odd furnishings, it all worked quite well together.

   Since their eyes had finally adjusted, they looked at the menus, sneaking small glances at each given opportunity, now taking in what the other was wearing. Phil sporting his glasses and a plaid button up(Dan did get a look at his black skinny jeans. Still a little shocked Phil actually owned something like that, not that it bugged him). Damn, he thought, Phil looks so hot. Dan was wearing his normal all black, an angel of death. Phil's angel of death.

   The waiter came back with their drinks, neither getting an alcoholic beverage. "Are yall two ready to order?" they said in a strong, yet placid voice. After placing their order, they chatted about various different topics, Phil never failing to make Dan laugh. Forgetting that he was setting in a chair without a back, Dan leaned back, expecting support, and fell back on the floor in the middle of the restaurant[danisnotonchairs had to make an appearance at some point!]. It went silent for a moment, everyone looking over to see what had happened, then continuing on as if nothing had occurred. Dan closed his eyes and started laughing more, legs tangled in the overturned chair. Phil stood up and went over to Dan quickly. "Why." Dan said quietly to himself. Phil made sure he was okay and helped him up. "When we see our waiter we can ask if we can get our food to-go." God Phil is so sweet, he thought. Dan didn't want to spoil the date just because of something stupid that he did. Phil saw his uncertainty and took Dan's hands in his. "I'm sure Dan."   
    He returned a small smile and they sat down again waiting for their takeout food. Phil already taking Dan's mind off his embarrassing moment in public. Though Phil really didn't even have to say anything, as Dan could simply stare at Phil for hours and completely forget about everything else going on in the universe. Phil is the cure for everything terrible, he thought. It didn't take long for the food to come, in which they left quickly after paying and leaving a tip for their kind waiter.

    Holding the to-go bag in one hand, Dan took Phil's hand again. God his skin is so soft, he thought. Not long after, they were in the flat sitting on the couch, watching a scary movie, while eating their takeout. As soon as a jumpscare happened, Phil was absentmindedly reaching for Dan's hand. Halfway through the movie, now that the plot had developed,  they were both on edge. Their food long since finished. Still holding hands, Dan looked at him. Phil had scooted closer. Another scare and Phil clung to Dan. "Dear Jesus!" he screeched as put a hand over his heart. Dan removed Phil from his arm so he could put it around him. Phil snuggled into Dan, loving the warmth that he always seemed to give off without even knowing it. Dan took Phil's hand after they were both comfortable, rubbing circles on Phil's hand whenever he felt him tense up. 

   By the time the movie was over, Phil had curled up, his head on Dan's lap, and had fallen asleep. Dan wanted to sleep in his bed, but didn't want to wake Phil. He thought about carrying him, but knew he would end up accidentally wake him up. Plus there was the whole I-could-drop-him-or-do-something-else-stupid deal. After a debate in his head, Dan decided that he would just stay in the living room. He gently moved Phil over so he could go and at least get a blanket for them so they wouldn't get cold. Since the weather decided to have it's own crisis and become cold for the past few weeks, Dan didn't want Phil or himself to get sick.

  Dan returned with the blanket and sat back down. Phil, still asleep, immediately found his place curled up next to Dan, head on his lap. Dan tried his best to cover up Phil and part of himself, failing horribly, he just put it completely on Phil. Slowly slipping into his own dreams, Dan softly rubbed Phil's back forgetting about everything else and only thought about Phil. Phil's skin. His hair. His eyes. Phil's smile. The sound of his laugh. How it felt to kiss him, hold his hands, and hold him. Dan fell asleep thinking about everything Phil.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maddie learned italics...it was somewhat effective...she thinks...

Phil pulled out his camera and started filming. "Hello everybody. So I know we've both been very elusive lately, so today I wanted to film a 'Day In The life Of Dan And Phil'," Phil shuffled over to the window to give everyone a view of the frozen wonderland that he saw. "It's snowing! Maybe Dan and I can go out in that for a little while." Dan came up behind Phil putting his arms around his waist, resting his head on Phil's shoulder. "Good luck with that. It's freezing inside as it is, I don't want to know how cold it is out there. There's a reason we stay inside Phil." Phil leaned his head against Dan's. "Well, either way, we still have to go to the store and restock on everything." "Including more cereal. I'm completely serious when I say you have a problem." Phil looked away. "I still have no idea what you're talking about." He smiled. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, we've been over this Phil."

    Dan started tickling Phil. "Ah." Phil struggled to get away from Dan's grasp and hold the camera at the same time. "Dan-stahp!" He managed to get out in between laughs. They both collapsed on the cold floor, giggling uncontrollably. Phil stopped recording and set the camera down. He looked back at Dan. "I hate you." Dan smiled. "Love you too." Dan leaned in and kissed Phil, Phil melted into it. Dan adjusted himself and took Phil's face in his hands. They kissed again, it was loving and gentle, yet hungry and passionate at the same time. It was everything they wanted to say, all wrapped up into a kiss. Phil brought his hands to Dan's curly mess of hair and ran his fingers through it. Dan moaned softly into the kiss when Phil softly tugged some of his curls. He took one hand out of Dan's hair and placed it on Dan's knee.

   Their kisses became more needy and heated with each one. Phil started kissing Dan's sensitive neck and biting softly, causing him to moan loudly. Phil slid his hand a little higher up Dan's thigh. After sucking his neck, and leaving marks that Dan definitely won't be able to cover up, Dan yelped again and Phil moved his hand from Dan's upper thigh, to his chest. Phil, still the gentle person he is, softly pushed Dan against the cold hardwood floor. He then straddled Dan, legs on either side of Dan's hips. Phil continued kissing Dan's neck, Dan gripping the front of Phil's shirt, a mess underneath him. "You know, I love this a...lot, but-ah-you made a promise to a certain group of p-people, that are probably still flipping their shits, an-mhm-and we still have to go to...the st-ore." Dan managed to say. Phil kissed Dan on the lips and hesitantly moved off of Dan and helped him off of the floor.

    "I'm going to go get dressed Lion." He said, winking. Heart still beating fast, Phil watched as Dan walked off.  _God, he will be the death of me._

     Phil got up and got ready himself, making sure to layer because of the cold. While rummaging through his closet, Phil found an old scarf, brown and white striped and frayed at the ends. About this time, Phil heard Dan calling him. He walked to Dan's room. He was wearing an oversized long sleeve shirt, sweater paws included. And tight skinny jeans. "Phil. I have nothing to cover these up." He said, gesturing towards the spray of variously shaded marks Phil had left on his neck. Phil blushed slightly before retreating to his room to retrieve the scarf. He returned and Dan made a face. "I'm not wearing that." Phil moved closer to Dan. "You will if you don't want anyone to see them." He said as he put it on Dan and used the ends to pull him into a kiss. Dan was the one to break the kiss since he needed to breathe. "Everyone is going to make kink jokes in the comments." He pouted. "Aw. Come on let's go get that shopping out of the way."

   Before making it to the store, Phil saw a small coffee shop that he wanted to try. Dragging Dan in, they were greeted to lovely smells and a warm feeling. Dan saved them a booth while Phil ordered seasonal drinks[yay, capitalism...]. When he sat down, he pulled out his phone. "So Dan and I decided to stop at this little coffee shop and-" "Decided? Phil, you literally dragged me in here so you can have a caffeine high! I only said okay because I couldn't feel my limbs, and this place looked really warm from the outside." Making a pouting face, Phil looked at the camera. "Says the person whos also about to enjoy an espresso joyride. We'll be up for hours." "No Phil. Never underestimate my power to sleep. No amount of caffeinated beverages will ever change that." A simple  "Whatever." from Phil.

   He sat his phone back on the table. They sipped on their warm drinks as slowly as possible, not wanting to return into the frigid weather. "Phil Lester, you would be the one person who would want to film a video outside today." Dan said as he watched the snow fall, making Phil grin. Dan set his feet in Phil's lap, sighing and sinking deeper into his cushiony seat. "Don't get  comfortable, we probably should get going." Dan made a face. "Phhhiiiiil, it's gonna be so cold out there." Phil got out of the booth, forcing Dan to move his feet. He held his hand put to help Dan up. Taking it, they moved to throw away their finished drinks and left.

   As soon as the freezing air hit them, Dan got closer to Phil, seeking warmth. Phil let go of Dan's hand so he could put his arm around him instead. He's so perfectly perfect. Phil kissed Dan's forehead as they trudged towards their destination. They met a few fans on the way, who completely freaked out when they saw them so close together, both blushing profusely, even after.

  You could say Dan and Phil had a little too much fun at the store[not like that, ya nasties ;) ]. Yes they did get some stares from homophobic assholes, but they didn't care because they were in hysterical laughing fits. At some point[at some freaking point], Dan picked up an airhorn. He wondered back to Phil and scared the absolute crap out of him with it. Phil, being so clumsy, managed to knock over a pyramid of various canned vegetables. A worker just so happened to be turning the corner at this exact moment. Gawking in complete, utter shock, the young, ginger worker's face turned a red, almost matchable to her hair. Her gaze went from the cans, to Dan, Phil, and back to the cans.

  
   After awkwardly helping with the cans and Phil playfully smacking Dan for causing such a scene, they checked out. "I can't believe you." "Oh but you have tooo." Dan kissed Phil's cheek.

  They went to the flat and put up the groceries. "Phil?" He turned around. "Hm what is-" Phil's eyes grew wide. "I-um...thought we might need it at some point..." Dan blushed, but was silent. "...okay." Phil grabbed the bottle of lube and went to his room to put it in his bedside table drawer and collapsed on his bed. _Are we moving to fast?_  Phil ran his fingers through his hair.

  Que the small knock on the door. "Phil, the day is not over yet. I believe a certain someone mentioned playing in the snow like prepubescent boys and frolicking around so Twitter can pick it apart like bloodthirsty, feral wolves." making him laugh, Phil opened the door with a stupid grin on his face. "I mean, damn. We might as well wear flower crowns too." "Really?" Is this really Dan Howell? "My dignity took it's life many years ago. Jumped right out the window when I hit upload." Dan pulled Phil in for a hug. "Come on. Let's go freeze our flat asses off." "In flowercrowns!" Phil added. Dan shook his head as they moved down the hall.  _This is what my life has come to._

   They went to the little park down the street and recorded the beautiful, white wonderland before them. Walking close, holding hands, it all seemed too surreal to Dan. Dan squeezed Phil's hand and led him to a bench that sat under an ice-incased, large tree, that neither of them could identify because they couldn't care less at the time. The bench also sat infront of the now frozen-over pond. Everything was truly amazing. 

When they sat down, Dan stared at Phil, taking him in. "Phil, I love you _so. Fucking. Much._ " they kissed. "I love you too." Phil pulled Dan's face closer and they kissed, so soft and so gentle and all they could ever ask for. Phil readjusted himself and let his hands rest behind Dan's neck. A kiss. Another. Another. Everytime, getting more passionate and heated. Phil ran his tongue along Dan's lips and he quickly opened up so Phil's tongue could explore his mouth. Dan, who moaned immediately, put placed a hand on Phil's waist.

    Then Phil was brought back into reality. _Nononono We need to stop, we're in public. Oh God, what if some fan got a picture of us making out, and posted it? I mean, we're more than friends, obviously, but still it's not something professional. Why can't I just kiss him without it being weird? We've gotta stah-ahh._  Dan took his turn kissing Phil's neck as payback from earlier that morning.

   Before Dan could force Phil into a scarf situation, Phil gently pushed Dan back a little. Oh shit. What did I do? Dan looked deep into Phil's eyes. Phil whispered in his ear. "We're in public, Dan. We're lucky if somebody hasn't already gotten a pic." His whispers made Dan shiver. "So, who gives a shit if it's on a billboard or in a frame on your Mom's bookshelf?" Phil stood up without considering Dan's remarks. He didn't really care, but still. "Come on Bear, let's get back to the flat. It's freezing out here."

  They sat on the couch under a dozen of thick, fuzzy blankets drinking hot chocolate, complements of Chef Phil, who supposedly made the best hot chocolate. Both of them snuggled next to each other, fighting off the cold. "We're gonna have to edit a lot tonight." Dan laughed. "They're gonna eat that flowercrown shit up." "The way you just put that makes me want to barf." Grinning, Dan kissed Phil and got closer, dreading having to get up.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Dan scrolled through Tumblr in couch-crease position. Phil said he was going out for a bit, but he didn't tell Dan what exactly he was doing. He then began to look through some comments on their Day In The Life video, everyone happy about the flowercrowns. _We should probably film a gaming video soon._

  Dan scrolled through the endless depths of comments until he heard Phil open the front door. Apparently he was trying to be quiet because he didn't answer when Dan called out to him. He crept to Phil's room to see him rummaging through several unmarked bags. "Whatcha got Phil?" Phil jumped. "Uh-um, I just went to...get some things we forgot." "Oh...okay...wanna film a gaming video?" Phil gave Dan that giant grin that could light up the entire universe and took Dan's hands so he could lead him to the gaming room.

  "What game do you feel like losing at today?" "You wish Phil. How 'bout...Mario Cart!" Phil groaned. "You're only picking that because you're good at it." "Obviously."

  The video went great(Dan winning), and they even left in a kiss. It didn't take long to edit so it was up within hours.

    As they sat on the couch, Phil turned his laptop so Dan could see the screen. "You know what's in town?" "I thought you didn't like going outside. Do you seriously want to go to the carnival? Phil we're literally to _big_ to get on any of the rides." "Aw come on. It's the last night it's here and we can stay for just a few hours." Dan nodded and kissed Phil. "It's still cold out, layer Lester." Phil smiled. "Don't forget your scarf." Dan groaned. "I hate that god damned scarf. Have you seen the comments about it?" Phil smirked. "Yeah, yeah I have." Dan kissed Phil again. "Pure. Evil." Phil laughed as he went to go get ready for the next few hours of funnel cake and carousel fun.

  
   As they entered the gates, they both bought little, lavender  wristbands that allowed them to ride all the rides as much as they wanted, much more convenient than tickets. Dan helped Phil put his wristband on and Phil did the same for him, as those are always difficult to put on by yourself. "So what do you want to ride first?" Dan asked Phil, ready to ride any of them. "Um...maybe something that won't make me vomit even on an empty stomach." Dan looked around, looking very aesthetically different from the entire carnival as he was just wearing black. "Oh!" Dan pointed. "Let's ride the merry-go-round." Phil gave Dan look. "Will they even let us on that? We're gigantic." Dan grabbed Phil's hand. "Oh come on, you make it seem like we're abnormally different from society. We can sit in the little-teacup-spinny-thing." Dan pulled Phil by his hand and they got in line, standing apart from everyone else awaiting their turn as they were all around eight years old.

   The sun had long since set so the lights were turned on on all of the rides, making the carnival twenty times more beautiful. The crisp air was perfect. Nobody has pestered them. They were happy. Everything seemed to be going absolutely perfect.

   Their turn came soon and they both managed to sit in the little teacup together, getting an odd look from the older worker. If the strange look was for the fact that they were more than friends or if they were (sorta-kinda) grown men getting on a carousal, they couldn't tell, but honestly they couldn't have cared less. The ride started and they spun the circular, metal plate in the middle that made the teacup spin. Since Dan was spinning it so fast, Phil was pushed up against Dan's side because of the force. "Slow down Dan I'm dizzy." Phil managed to say, feeling a little light-headed. He buried his face into Dan's shoulder. Dan slowed down, realizing it was too much for Phil. He eventually stopped spinning the plate completely and put an arm around Phil. They sat in peaceful silence, enjoying the ride, the breeze, and each other.

  The carousel slowed to a stop and they got off. "I'm gonna get some funnel cake, wanna share?" Phil asked Dan. "I not that hungry, but still, go get some. I'll wait here." Phil nodded and gave Dan a quick kiss before walking over to the food truck. When it was his turn, he gave the man a great, big smile and was about to tell him he wanted funnel cake when the man stopped him. "Excuse me, but we don't serve faggots." Phil flinched.  "But-" "I said, we _don't. serve. FAGGOTS_." Phil bit his lip. The man was about to start yelling when Dan walked over. "Um-" He put an arm around Phil. "- _We_ would like some _funnel cake_. Because it's obviously not much of a problem, as that _is_ your job." The man glared, but was pushed aside by another worker from inside the truck. Her eyes got wide, as she was an obvious fan. "I'm so sorry Dan and Phil!" She turned to the man. "Um, maybe take a break Clark? I want to talk to you later though." She looked back at them. "I'm Kendall, and he can be a real ass sometimes. And again, I'm sooo sorry! Here's that funnel cake." Kendall smiled as she handed Phil the plate of grease and powdery goodness. Dan started to dig in his pockets for payment. "How much is it?"  Kendall shook her head violently. "Oh God no, It's on the house-er...truck? Please, Clark was terrible, and anything for yall!" Kendall gave them a warm smile. "Thank you." Phil said as they turned around to find a table to sit at.

   "Well that was interesting." Dan said. "Hopefully we don't see him again..." "Eat your funnel cake." Phil smiled and dug in, Dan stealing a little bit every now and then. "You've got powdered sugar on your lips Phil." Dan leaned over and kissed Phil. "Hm, I don't think I got it." Phil smirked as Dan kissed him again. 

   When they finished, Dan looked around and saw a game that offered stuffed Pokémon if you win. "Dan, these games are impossible to win. You'll just waste-" Dan sat down on one of the stools. "Hush Phil." When enough people sat down, Dan grabbed the sides of the bolted-down watergun and lined it up with the tiny dot he had to aim for. The first person to hit it and keep it on for the longest wins when the little bar at the top fills up. "Ready? Set......GO!" The woman running the game shouted. The water started and Dan hit the dot immediately. Several seconds later, the bar above his head filled and a bell went off sounding his victory. Dan spun around on the seat and faced Phil, grinning widely. The woman walked over to Dan. "Take your pick, which one?" "Oshawott!" Phil said. The lady was obviously lacking in Pokémon knowledge because she was about to hand Phil Umbreon until Dan told her it's the one next to Pikachu(everyone knows what Pikachu looks like).

   Holding the Oshawott in his arms, Phil kissed Dan on the cheek. "Thank you Bear." Dan smiled and put his arm around Phil again. "Come on, let's ride the ferris wheel." Dan whispered in Phil's ear. 

Since it was getting late and it was the last night, most of the rides were closing down. When Dan and Phil walked over to the ferris wheel, they saw that they were about to shut it down. Phil ran up to the man operating it. "Excuse me sir?" the younger man looked up. "We-we're about to close." he said quietly, not making eye contact. "Can we pleeeease ride before you shut it off?" Phil asked politely and with a giant grin. "O-okay. Um. Go ahead." he gestured towards the seat. "Thank you! Could you hold this?" Phil asked gesturing towards his stuffie, Henry agreeing. Phil went and sat down and wiped grass off of the spot beside him and gestured to Dan. Passing the magenta-haired man, Dan looked at his MCR shirt. "Like your shirt." Dan said, brightening the man's day. He mouthed a thank-you as Dan sat next to Phil. Henry walked over to secure the seat and went back to the box to start the ride, putting his headphones in and closing his eyes.

  As the ferris wheel began to move, Dan looked into Phil's eyes. "Thanks for convincing me to do this. I've had fun." "Me too Bear." Phil on the ends of Dan's scarf. "It really does look good on you though." "Really?" Dan said, unconvinced. "Of course." Phil pulled Dan's face closer and kissed him gently, Dan kissing back. It was soft and sweet. Their seat stopped at the top, the view was beautiful. The breeze felt nice.

   Then the lights on the ferris wheel cut off. _Oh shit_. From below, they saw Henry step out of his box. "It's acting up! We'll get yall down soon." he yelled before running off to find the person to fix this mess. "That would be our luck." Dan said buring his face in Phil's shoulder. "It's alright. That just means I can do _this_ without getting questioned." "Do wha-" Phil kissed Dan hungrily, putting one hand in Dan's hair and the other on Dan's upper thigh, pushing him up against the metal. Dan kissed back pulling on the front of Phil's shirt. Phil tugged on Dan's brown curls, elicting a yelp from him. Phil pulled the scarf off of Dan and began kissing his sensitive neck, Dan moaning immediately. Phil added more marks to the previous and playfully bit his neck. Phil moved over and sat in Dan's lap, wrapping his legs around him. Dan moved his hands to Phil's back, pulling him closer. Dan hung his head back as Phil continued kissing Dan's neck. "Ph-Phil, I love you...so much." "Love. You. Too." Phil said in between kisses. Their lips connected again, Phil holding Dan's face.

   All of a sudden, the ferris wheel made a loud screeching noise. "Sorry about that guys!" Henry shouted from the ground. Phil looked back at Dan and kissed him once more before moving off of Dan and sitting back like before. The lights flickered back on and Phil started fixing his hair like nothing had happened. Dan, still a heavy-breathing mess, leaned down and picked his scarf up and put it back on. The ferris wheel started moving again. "I can still see them." Phil readjusted the scarf and smiled at Dan who was staring deep into Phil's eyes.

   When they reached the bottom, Henry was there to open the seat and let them leave. "Again, I-I'm sorry about that." Phil put his arm around Dan. "No problem. Thank you for letting us ride." They began to walk away. Phil whispered in Dan's ear, "Wanna go home?" Nibbling softly on Dan's ear. Dan nodded.

 

After making it inside and upstairs, Phil pushed Dan up against the wall and started kissing him. Dan wrapped a leg around Phil's waist. Phil put a hand on the wall and the other on Dan's waist. Phil ripped off the scarf and threw it behind him. He began to kiss Dan's neck. Dan put his arms behind Phil's neck. Dan grounded himself and kissed Phil, softly pushing him backward.

   Soon, they were in Dan's room and Phil's heels were being pushed against the bed. Dan pushed Phil down and got on the bed himself, straddling Phil. They kissed until they had to part so Dan could get Phil's shirt above his head and off of him. Dan started kissing Phil chest, stomach, his neck, and connected their lips again. Then Phil slipped his tongue in Dan's mouth and Dan moaned softly. 

  It was euphoric until Dan's sweater was pulled off and Phil saw his angry scars that hadn't yet faded. Memories flooded in. It was his fault. Dan wouldn't have hurt himself if it wasn't for him. He did that to Dan, even though he had no idea. Phil kept thinking nonsense thoughts until he stared tearing up.

  
    Dan was pulled out of their passionate moment when he realized that Phil wasn't alright. He collapsed beside him, wiping tears from Phil's eyes. "C'mere Lion." Phil buried his face in Dan's bare chest, crying. Phil took Dan's arms and ran his fingers over the still clearly visible scars. "I am the reason you did this. It's my fault...please don't do it again. Ever." Regret welled inside Dan. He raised Phil's chin and their eyes meet. "I did that for many reasons, but please don't think it was your fault. I know I shouldn't have done it, I'm sorry." "You could've died. You could be dead right now. What would I have done then?" Now Dan had tears rolling down his face. "Listen, it was wrong. I know. But, we're past it. I have no reason to do it, I love you. I was scared about not having you. You're all of my life Lion. I would be pointless without you. I didn't have a point if I couldn't be with you." Phil softly kissed Dan. "You have me. Always. I just hate seeing them on you. I feel like I caused it." Dan shook his head, they were quietly speaking now. "Stop thinking that. I'm better now. I love you." "I love you too Bear." Dan rubbed Phil's back.

Phil fell asleep in Dan's arms, yet Dan couldn't sleep. It takes a lot to make Phil cry and yet he just did. Dan was frustrated at himself. He moved Phil over and covered him up.   
Dan walked over to his piano and softly hit the keys, not wanting to wake Phil. He didn't know what he was playing but still, his hands moved gracefully along the piano.

  Dan was tired but didn't feel like sleeping. He wondered to the living room and got on his laptop. He had to do something for Phil. Then he got the idea to go on vacation. There wasn't anything that said they couldn't. Taking a break would be nice, it's just what they needed. The fans would make a joke about it being their honeymoon, but that didn't matter. Now, where would they go?

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   Hi. Um. I'm. Very. Late. Saaaawwwwy. I've had writers block and life happened. This chapter doesn't really move the plot, it's just here and nobody knows why and very pointless (Kinda like me).   <3   Thanks for the views and kudos! Your comments are what keep me continuing this.

Phil trudged into the living room, still shirtless, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes. He yawned. "How long have you been up Dan?" Phil said sitting on the couch next to Dan, who had put his sweater back on. Dan didn't want to worry Phil and upset him more because he didn't sleep. He still looked so vulnerable. Dan moved his laptop off of his legs and got up. "Want me to make you a coffee?" "Yes pleeease." Phil sniffed, his sinuses congested from crying the previous night.

  
    When Dan exited the room, Phil sunk deeper into the couch. He looked down at his socks that didn't match, one fluorescent orange and the other azure with bubbles on it, then he heard Dan curse loudly from the kitchen.

   
   Phil got up and stopped at the doorway of the kitchen. "Dan. How did you manage this?" Before him was an entire bag of sugar on the floor. Dan rubbed his face. "Honestly Phil at this point I don't even know anymore." Dan grabbed a broom and dropped the dustpan on the floor.

   Phil crouched on the ground and held the dustpan in place. "And you get mad at me for getting a little sugar on the counter." Phil looked up at Dan and smiled. "Not now Phil." Dan said in a foul mood.

  
After cleaning up the sugary mess, Dan walked over to the cup of coffee and held it towards Phil. "Ah. A nice cup of black coffee. That'll be strong. You don't have to drink it. I fucked everything up."

Phil took the cup from Dan's hands and set it back on the counter. He gripped Dan's waist. "I think I'll be able to cope. You did not mess everything up, okay?" "Okay. It was still a disaster though." "Yes it was. But it's all cleaned up." Phil tried to reassure Dan the best he could.

   Phil kissed Dan. "Love you." Phil said. "Love you too." "You still didn't tell me how long you've been awake." "Long enough Lion." Phil pulled Dan in for a hug and held him for awhile.

   "Phil, your coffee is going to get cold." Dan said into Phil's still bare chest. "I suppose it is." Phil said said smelling Dan's hair.

 

   "Have I ever told you you have the softest skin?" Dan said, looking at Phil. Phil tilted his head. "I think you did several years ago. But you were severely drunk. You kept complimenting me and got all touchy in front of everyone." Dan blushed profusely. "Well...I meant it." Phil laughed and cringed, remembering that night. "You should have seen everyone's faces! Especially mine. I was freaking out." "I did see everyone's faces. I was just too shitfaced to remember. I should probably be glad I don't remember." Phil nodded in agreement still remembering the questioning and horrified looks on their friends faces.

 

  
\--~~~~--(Flashback sound-effect)

_June, 2015_

_Everyone was slightly buzzed from the drinks and were chatting in the loud bar. Tyler walked over to Dan and Phil. "What are you doing Dan?" Dan shrugged. Tyler handed Dan a drink. "Have some fun!" Dan was hesitant but took a big gulp of the intoxicating beverage. Tyler shook his hips to the beat of the song and disappeared into the crowd._

  
_"Phil this tastes terrible." Dan said as he took another swig. Phil nodded. "Want to dance while we still have our senses?" Phil asked. "I don't know...you know I-" Phil got up from his seat and took Dan's hand. "Come on."_

  
_Phil pulled Dan towards a spot that seemed decent enough for dancing and let go of his hand. Dan watched as Phil slowly started swaying to the song. "It's not gonna be fun if you don't join!" Phil shouted, his voice barely heard over the noisy room._

  
_Dan joined Phil and began to enjoy himself. It was perfect until somebody bumped him hard and he was mid-fall until Phil caught him. Their faces were so close, all either one of them had to do was lean in less than and inch and they would be kissing. They stayed like this for only a few seconds, that felt like minutes, caught in the moment. But neither moved._

  
_Phil pulled Dan back onto his feet properly and scratched the back of his neck. "Um. I think I'm gonna go sit down now." Dan said awkwardly. Phil nodded._  


_When Dan sat back down he waved down the bartender. Tyler reappeared out of the crowd and sat next to Dan. "What's wrong?" Tyler rubbed Dan's back. Dan drank what was infront of him and told the bartender to keep them coming._

_"I....al....ways....fuck....everything....up....and....make....things....awkward...ah.....why....do....I...do..this...sssstupid....shit..." Dan was getting more drunk with each word and began to feel dizzy. Tyler looked at Dan and then at the bartender. "I think he's had enough." He told the man. The bartender nodded, took the handful of glasses, and walked away._

  
_Dan laid his head and arm on the counter. "Uuuuuuuuuugh. You'd think I'd be successful and be married and haaave kids. Noo. I'm heeerrre. why?" "I don't know what happened, but Dan you're into very successful and your life is great. You have Phil too!" Dan lightly banged his head on the countertop. "I don't have Phil. You know-" Dan began laughing drunkenly. Tyler looked concerned. "Dan I'll be right back. Don't-don't go anywhere."_

  
_Phil turned around when he heard Tyler calling his name. "Excuse me PJ." Phil met Tyler in the middle. "What's up?" "Um. Dan....he um- you know you should just see." Well shit._

_Phil walked over to Dan who was giggling to himself, head down. "Dan?" "Ppppphhhhhiiil!" Dan somewhat stood up and steadied himself using Phil's shoulders. "Dan about-God how much did you drink?" Phil said as Dan's legs gave and Phil just barely caught him before he hit the ground. Dan laughed. "Phil. Phil. Phiool. Feel. That's whaat your name sounds like. Like Feel. Like_  this." _Dan moved his arms around Phil's body and gripped his ass. Phil's eyes widened. He felt eyes on them. "Dan. Dan stop." Phil said as he removed Dan's hands._

_"Aw come on. Feely." Dan snaked a hand up Phil's shirt. "Your skins sooo soft. How?" Phil grabbed Dan's wrist and stopped his hand from moving. "Dan you need to stop. You drank too much and you're probably not gonna remember any of this tomorrow. People are staring." "Take me t-to the flat then Feeeeel." Dan begged. "I will, but not like that. This is gonna hit you hard tomorrow. Tyyyleeer!!!"_

  
_Tyler appeared again and stopped in his tracks, looking at Phil, then Dan, and back at Phil. "Not what you think. He's so drunk. Can you help me get him to the flat?" Tyler smiled. "Of course! Let's get this horny little shit home!"_

_They managed to get Dan into the cab and sat on either side of him. In the cab, Dan messed with Phil's jean button and zipper. "Stahp Dan!" Phil said, getting a cold and peculiar glare from the driver._

_Tyler linked arms with Dans so he couldn't use his left arm.  He smiled at the driver. "Why did you drink so much?" Phil said as Dan passed out after getting as close as possible to Phil and grabbing his hand._

  
\----~~~~~----(End of flashback)

 

     Phil decided it was for the best that he repressed that entire night from those years ago. "I mean, let's be glad their aren't pictures of that night on the internet."  Phil cringed at the thought of it. "I couldn't have been that bad." Dan said. "Um. You tried to get in my pants...infront of Tyler." Phil retorted. Dan was mortified. "God I'm sorry for that. That must have been so embarrassing." "It's alright. It was a while ago and I think you would have been more embarrassed, if you knew what happened." "I don't think I want to."

  
   Phil released Dan and walked back into the living room. Dan followed and sat beside him. "Should we make a video or something?" "I can't think of anything." Phil said. "Well we can just lay around if you want." Dan suggested. "Wanna kiss?" Phil said, making Dan smirk. "[Daniel Lester] Good suggestion."

  
    Phil took Dan's face in his hands and placed a soft kiss on his nose, forehead, left and right cheek, and then his lips. The kisses were gentle and pleasing. Looking into Dan's eyes, Phil twisted one of his curls on his finger and tugged on it, creating that semi-pleasant pain.

  
    Without warning, Phil gripped a handful of hair and pulled their lips together again. Dan groaned into the kiss. They kissed again, but with more heat, more passion.

  
   Before pushing Dan down on the couch and straddling him, Phil pulled Dan's sweater over his head and tossed it behind him. Now ontop of Dan, Phil took Dan's hands and pinned them above his head on the couch. Phil got close to Dan's face so he could whisper, and bit on his earlobe. "Don't move." Phil stated simply, but his voice sent a shiver through Dan.

  
     Phil let go of Dan's hands, expecting him to do what he was told, and began to place soft kisses all over him. Dan bucked his hips up, Phil grinding down on him in response. Dan let out a loud moan.

  
   Phil resumed kissing Dan everywhere, except now he left dark hickies all over him. Dan arched his back involuntarily.

  
    Phil traced his finger on Dan's chest and trailed downward. The small gesture still drove him mad since he couldn't react. Phil stopped when he came to Dan's jean button. He looked down at Dan, eyes dilated.

  
    For a moment, nothing happened. Phil looked over at the coffee table when he heard he was getting a phone call. He looked back over at Dan. "Phil I swear to fucking God if you answer that!" Phil smirked. He was enjoying teasing Dan.

  
    Not moving off of Dan, Phil leaned over and grabbed his phone. "It's my mum, I have to answer." "Pure evil."

     "Hello...what? Oh...Everythings been good...Why am I what?...out of breath? Uh. I've just went up all those stairs...no mum, I'm fine...yes..." Dan began to sit up but Phil put a hand on Dan's stomach and pushed him back down, leaving his hand there.

  
   "Have I what?...mum, everything is perfect why are you-.........mhm.....oh. I was gonna tell you but we didn't think abo-...no ma'am...but listen, I'm happy. We haven't told anybody but you were going to be the first-...yes...no....no...okay. Well I'll talk to you later." Phil hung up.

  
   He removed his hand and let Dan set up, who put an arm around Phil, trying to comfort him. "She knows." "What did she say?" "She's glad, but wished that the internet wasn't the reason she found out. She seemed more sad than mad that us, personally, didn't say anything." Phil looked down. "She was gonna find out eventually, but the fault is on us for not calling. What about your parents?" "I can do that later. Phil are you alright?" Phil nodded. "It's just- she's _actually_  okay with it." He smiled.

  
    Phil laid down next to Dan and let himself be caught in his embrace. "Do you want to dance?" Dan whispered, their foreheads together. "What?" "Dance." Dan began to set up. "It'll be fun." Dan climbed over Phil and pulled out his phone. Soft piano music began to play. Dan set his phone down and looked back at Phil. "Are you serious?" Dan held out his hand, Phil took it and put his hands around Dan's waist. Dan rested his arms on Phil's shoulders.

 

     They slowly swayed to the music. They were so close they were almost pressed against each other. The day had wasted away and the sun was beginning to set causing the lighting in the room to be perfect. They both knew they would be staying like this for hours.

  
    Phil looked into Dan's beautiful eyes and spoke in a hushed voice. "I'm so in love with you." Dan responsed to Phil by giving him a tender and loving kiss that said what he couldn't.  
   

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is so terribly written I wanted to burn it with fire and leave forever! But then I remembered I'm too lazy to actually re-re-re-re-re-(infinite re)-rewrite it. Sorry. I have rewritten this chapter so much. Agh. Also, I was hungry when I wrote this chapter, so that's why I went into detail with the food. Sorry for not posting consistently. I always feel as if I'm using to many commas, is it just me?

  "Daaaan! Where are we going?" Dan put his hand on Phil's. "Patience Lion." Phil made a pouty face. "You tell me to dress fancy and get in the cab. Why can't I have a hint?"  "Because." "That's not a valid answer." "It is now. Just hush, we'll be there soon." Dan gave Phil a quick kiss. 

 

   "Howell, table for two!" Dan and Phil were seated at a booth in the corner of an expensive restaurant. 

   After ordering, Phil looked at Dan. "Fancy. Are you gonna propose?" He teased. "Sorry to disappoint you, but I will not be proposing to you tonight Phil. But I do have a surprise for you." "You've intrigued me!" Phil joked dramatically. Dan sat his drink down and pulled out two pieces of paper from his pocket. "Phil, I was thinking that it's about time that we go on vacation. We just need to take a break. From everything. And just go." Dan took Phil's hand from across the table. "I have plane tickets. I've booked a hotel. Everythings set up." Phil looked sceptical. "Are you sure it's a good idea, becau-" Dan squeezed Phil's hand. "Phil. We deserve a vacation." "Alright." He smiled. Dan put the plane tickets back in his pocket. He has yet to tell Phil where they're going...maybe he could try to keep it a secret and surprise him. 

   Later on in the dinner after their meals were finished, Dan ordered a slice of chocolate cake for dessert. "Is it alright with you if we share?" Dan asked Phil. "Of course Bear." Phil responded with a loving smile. 

   When the cake arrived, they then realized how large the slice was. The cake itself was several layers so it stood tall, covered in chocolate icing. Fudge was drizzled all over it. A single decorative strawberry lay on the side of the plate. 

   "Dan oh my God. Look at it!" Phil's face lit up. Phil quickly pulled at his phone and took a picture. "Are you going to post it on Instagram?" Dan asked. Phil continued looking down at his phone. "Dan, it would be a literal sin not to!" Dan chuckled at Phil's amusement towards a single slice of cake. 

   Phil's phone buzzed. He looked at it and made a face. "Everything alright?" Dan asked. Phil turned his phone completely off and sat it face-down on the table. He met Dan's gaze with a reassuring smile. "Everything is perfect." He lied.

   Dan picked up the strawberry on the plate and picked off the leaves. He then looked at Phil. "Open." Phil let Dan feed him the strawberry, ignoring the variety of looks they were getting from other people eating at the restaurant. 

   They then began to feed each other forkfuls of the cake because why the hell not? And it truly did taste amazing [Jesus Christ I need to staahp]. When Phil saw there was fudge on Dan's lips, he leaned across the table and kissed him, attempting to get it off. Succeeding only partially, Phil licked it off. Enjoying what had occurred, Dan kissed Phil, the taste of Phil and chocolate mixed together was pleasing to him. "So is it okay now if someone recognizes us?" "Dan, if the internet did not break when we kissed on YouNow, it won't now. Stahp worrying about it Bear. It's not like anybodys mad, practically everyone shipped us either way." Dan smiled. Phil was right, he always was to Dan. Dan put his feet in Phil's lap as he did when they were in that little coffee shop that frigid day. "I love you Phil." "I love you too, more than you'd believe." "I believe anything you say Lion." 

 

 

\-------(days later)-------

 

     "Phiiiiil!" Dan shook him awake. "Wha-" "We woke up late the cab is waiting!" They hurried to get ready and stuffed a few last-minute things in a bag and grabbed their suitcases. Practically flying down the stairs, they quickly locked the door and put their suitcases in the trunk of the cab. Hopefully they didn't forget anything in their rush. 

   In peaceful silence, Dan put an arm around Phil. Phil snuggled as close as possible. The man driving looked in the mirror. "Are yall going on honeymoon?" They both began blushing profusely. "Nonono. Just vacation." Phil said. "My bad. Where to may I ask?" "That's a good question. He won't tell me." Phil poked Dan's stomach. "And it's going to be a secret for as long as possible." Dan said. "Well I'm sure yall will have a lot of fun." Phil pushed his glasses up on his face. "I'm certain we will." Phil looked up at Dan and kissed him. 

 

 

\--

 

 

 

      Dan and Phil set their bags down on the floor in the beautiful living room. The drive to the suite was a little uncomfortable because the new driver kept giving them razor-sharp glares. Phil looked at Dan. "You've taken the palest human being to the desert." "Thank you Dan. You're awesome. You actually got off your ass and planned something." Dan said in a sarcastic tone. Phil pulled Dan close and kissed him. "Thank you. It really is amazing though." "No, you are." "I see we've reached the sappy stage of our relationship." "Of course."

 

    They sat on a couch in a secluded resort at Amangiri Utah. They had sat on a plane for hours and then sat in a car for many more hours, just to get the resort. They were pretty tired. The view from the giant windows was breathtaking. Sure it was hot as hell outside, but that's why they were inside. 

 

     "Smile Dan." Phil pointed his camera at Dan. "No." "Why not?!" Dan scooted closer to Phil and took his phone. Dan put an arm around Phil and held the phone up. Dan kissed Phil on the cheek and took the picture. It was a really good picture but Phil gave Dan a look. "Are you sure you want to put this on the internet?" Dan nodded. "Are you complet-" Dan took the phone again. "For fucks sake Phil." He hit post.

 

     "And now we turn your phone off and let them freak." Dan said, making Phil smile. Dan set the phone on the coffee table and kissed Phil, a hand on his cheek.

 

   A small woman burst into the room, a trolley behind her. "Oh. I'm interrupting aren't I. Sorry. Here's yalls food. I'll leave everything on the dinner table." The server left the room as quick as she entered. 

 

    Phil gave Dan a look. "Dan this must have been so expensive." "That. Is. Not. Important." Dan kissed Phil with each word. "It is important, you're just considering it irrelevant." Phil said while he watched Dan stand up and hold out his hand. Phil took it and was lead into the dining room. 

 

   The kind server had already set up two places for Dan and Phil. Everything looked so fancy. Phil looked at Dan again. Dan kissed his forehead. "How are you two boys?" The woman asked as she wiped her hands on her white apron. "Amazing." Dan answered for the both of them, making Phil smile again. 

 

       "Yall may sit. I will bring the dessert later." The woman spoke quickly and clapped at the end of her sentence. She pulled the trolley out with herself and they both sat down.

 

   The view out of the giant windows showed the sun was setting against the desert background. It almost seemed like they were outside, except with air conditioning. 

 

     Throughout the dinner, they chatted like they normally do, plus the flirting. Dan, at some point, had taken his shoes and socks off before dinner. Because he's sneaky like that.  When their conversation had died down, Dan ran his feet up Phil's legs and rested them in his lap. Phil smirked. They stayed silent but kept eye contact, staring deep into each other's eyes. Phil began to forward. He was going to kiss Dan, but the server entered again. She inwardly cursed herself for walking in at the wrong moment again.

 

      The night was upon them. She took the candle she had brought and put it on the table, lighting it with ease since she had done this for so many couples before. She placed the slice of New York Cheesecake on the table along with a bowl of chocolate strawberries (Oh how cliché can I get). The server winked at Dan before leaving the room, dimming the lights.

 

    When Dan looked back at Phil, he was smiling wide. What a beautiful person to love. The candlelight illuminated him perfectly, making Phil look so hot to Dan. "How sappy can Daniel Howell get in one day?" "Oh shush and open up." Dan picked up the dark-chocolate-covered strawberry, they all already had the leaves picked off beforehand, and fed it to Phil. "Dan this is so good! You have to try it." Dan reached to get one for himself but was stopped by Phil who swatted away Dan's hand and grabbed the stawberry himself. Dan rolled his eyes and let Phil feed him the strawberry. 

 

    "Oh my GOd. That's orgasmic." Dan threw his head back. "Do you need a moment?" Phil joked. "I think I'm good, but damn these do taste good." Phil smiled. 

 

    Phil yawned. "Wanna go to bed?" Dan suggested. "What about the cheesecake and-" "It's fine. G will take care of it." Dan removed his feet from Phil's lap. Phil got up and followed Dan as he walked towards the master bedroom. 

 

    The suitcases had been moved from the living room and into the bedroom, compliments of G herself. Phil walked over to his and began to tear through it, looking for pajamas and his toothbrush. Dan did the same and went into the bathroom first. 

   Phil waited for Dan to finish up. "Phil?"  Dan walked out and looked at Phil. "There's two sinks in here. And a lot of space." "Oh. Okay." Phil went into the bathroom and set his toothbrush and clothes down on the counter.  

 

    Phil found complementary toothpaste on the counter and put some on his toothbrush. He began to brush his teeth. Dan pulled his shirt off and slowly pulled down his skinny jeans. Phil watched Dan's reflection step out of the pants and look back up at Phil, catching him staring. The reflection smirked. 

 

   Phil broke eye contact and continued brushing his teeth. He spit in the sink but when he stood up straight again, Dan was right behind him, still only wearing his boxers. Dan wrapped his hands around Phil's waist and began kissing Phil's neck. Phil shuddered at the feeling of Dan's kisses. Phil tilted his head to give Dan easier access. Phil leaned into the almost naked Dan and let him continue for a few minutes before moving away so he could finish brushing his teeth. Dan frowned. 

 

    Dan watched silently as Phil changed into his sleeping clothes. Phil turned around and looked at Dan. "Night Dan." Phil said and left the bathroom. He tried not to laugh since he knew Dan was still in his boxers. 

 

    Phil got into the giant queen bed and looked at the bathroom doorway. Dan stood, arms crossed, snickering. "How rude." He said as he turned the bathroom light off and trudged over to his side of the bed. "Aren't you going to get dressed?" Phil looked at Dan. "Nah. I think this'll be more comfortable." Phil laughed. 

 

     Dan scooted close to Phil and put an arm on his waist. He then threw a leg over Phil's. Dan's bare chest was pressed against Phil's back. He nuzzled his face into that space between Phil's shoulder blades. Phil took the hand that had been on his waist and laced their fingers together. 

 

   "I love you, you arse." "I love you too Bear." They slowly drifted off. Little did they know that they didn't close the door. So there stood G. Watching them sleep...what could she say? She really enjoyed her job. 

 

  


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunscreen   
> Stars  
> Smut  
> This is the smut chapter. Pop your popcorn. This is the first smut I've Posted sorry if it's cringey. I was hesitant about posting it but here it is. Sorry I was late as usual. But still. Enjoy.

  
"Oh my gosh Dan these are so good!" Phil said as he began to eat yet another stack of chocolate chip waffles. "Honestly Phil, I don't understand how you possibly have that much room for that many waffles." Dan said picking off some lent on his sweater (that he finally decided to put on).

  
   "Well, after you digest, there's a pool out back. I did bring sunscreen, Voldemort." "The Dark Lord thanks you." Phil joked. Dan smiled as he got up from his chair. "I'm going to go change." Dan announced as he left the dining room.

  
       
     After a few minutes Phil got up and, without thinking, he opened the door to their bedroom without knocking. Before him stood a naked Dan. "Sorry." Phil said, immediately looking down at the ground. "What are you apologizing for?" Dan said as he stepped into his black swimming trunks. "I just walk-" Phil began. "So? Phil it's fine." Dan said as he inwardly smirked. "Hurry up and change so I can put this sunscreen on you." Dan said as he sat on the bed, sunscreen in hand, as if nothing had happened.

  
    Phil walked over to his suitcase and pulled out his lime green swimming trunks. With his back turned, he pulled off his shirt and then pulled down his pants, stepping out of them and neatly folding them. He folded his shirt as well and sat it ontop of his jeans that laid beside his suitcase. He knew Dan was watching him, that's why he was hesitant to pull down his boxers, even if it was just to change clothes.

  
   Dan hopped off of the bed. "I...I'll be in the living room." Phil signed when he knew Dan had left the room. Why was he so nervous all of a sudden? Phil slid his boxers off and stepped into the bright trunks.

 

    When Phil entered the living room, Dan laid waiting on the couch, his eyes closed. Phil walked over to the couch and got on his knees so he could kiss Dan. He put a hand on his cheek and pressed his lips to Dan's. Dan kissed back. "I'm sure G has already put towels outside for us." Phil chuckled. "I'm sure she has."

  
   Dan got off of the couch and began his search for the pool. It didn't take him long to find it. Phil spotted two towels on one of the tables and pointed them out to Dan, as it was surely the work of G.

 

    "C'Mere Lion." Dan said as he motioned for Phil to come over. Phil stood in front of Dan as he began to lather sunscreen on the pale man. He slowly rubbed it in and made sure to cover him with the strongly scented substance. "Did they not have spray-on sunscreen?" Phil asked as Dan continued to work it into his skin. "Well this was the highest SPF..." Phil laughed at Dan's excuse. "You didn't answer the question." Dan chuckled awkwardly.

  
     When Dan finished Phil turned around and gave him a look. "Your skin is soft. D-Don't look at me like that." Dan said as moved to set the bottle on the table, next to their towels.

 

  
-

  
    The sun had set and stars were beginning to show across the night sky. They decided they were finished swimming when they both were severly wrinkled and pruned. Which was many hours ago. After changing clothes and eating their dinner, they decided to sit outside, which took Dan's convincing since Phil had such an imagination about what could've been outside.

    "Phil?" They met each other's gaze. "Yes?" "I love you." Dan said sweetly. "I love you too." Phil leaned across the table and quickly kissed Dan. Dan looked over to the wall to see a ladder. He smiled as G had done perfectly. "Hey Phil, the roof is pretty flat and there just so happens to be a ladder here." Phil figured what Dan was getting at and smiled. "You're very smooth Daniel." "As always."

  
    They both got up from their seats and Dan opened the ladder. "I'll hold it still. You can go first love." Phil liked that. Love. It was better than babe or anything else like that (Except for Lion of course). Phil obliged and began to go up each step, quietly humming their little 'Ladders' tune. "You step on them, you climb. They're made of metal. Um. Yeah it's cheesy." Dan said. Phil smiled at the references. "It's supposed to be cheesy." He said, completing one of them.

  
   Dan laid beside Phil, curling up next to him and lacing their fingers together. Phil pointed to the sky. Dan looked up. "There's Cygnus, that's latin for swan. It's said that it's Zeus in disguise. It's also one of the brightest constellations." Phil waited a moment before pointing to another jumble of stars. "That W-looking shape, that's Cassiopeia. It is said that Cassiopeia was a vain, yet very beautiful queen, the wife of...Cepheus it was! He was the king of Ethiopia. She was placed in the sky because she was too boastful about her beauty." "That narcissistic bitc-" "Dan!" "I'm joking Phil. So tell me, when exactly did you become an astronomer?" Phil smiled. Dan had no idea Phil knew anything about constellations.

  
    "When I had severe jetlag and it was five in the morning. My mind wandered around and Google was available." Dan laughed. "Okay Phil. I know..." Dan looked around until he found what he was looking for. "...the Little and Big Dipper." Dan said proudly. Phil laughed at Dan's lack of astronomy knowledge, or was he just trying to be a smartass? 

  
    "What else you got?" Dan asked as he squeezed Phil hand. "Um...that really long one next to the little and big dipper, that's Draco, which is latin for dragon. It's the eighth largest constellation. There's Corvus, that one is latin for...raven or crow. I think. Um. That one, the small and bright one, it's Lyra. It represents the lyre, it's this stringed instrument, that was played by Orpheus. And...Leo. It's a rather common one, which is latin for Lion. It's one of the largest constellations." Phil smiled and looked back at Dan who had been absorbing every word that Phil spoke. He looked back up at the sky. "Scorpious is right there. It's part of the zodiac."

     Phil began to drone about many different constellations and what they represented in Greek Mythology. He told Dan the constellations that would be visible if they were back in London. He talked about Dan's astrological sign, Gemini. And Dan thought it was cool that Phil could talk for hours about these balls of burning gas that are so many miles away, but seemed close enough to touch.

     And he listened to every word. The sound of Phil's voice was enough to slowly lull him into a peaceful sleep. But they were on a roof. So Dan studied Phil's face, because that beautifully pale face was a face that he wanted to wake up next to everyday. He looked at his pink, kissable lips. He looked at his ebony fringe that layed perfectly across his forehead. And then he looked at Phil's eyes. The hues of blue, green, and yellow that just seemed so captivating. He could stare into them for hours on end.

   Phil quit talking and looked at Dan. Dan blushed since Phil knew he had been staring, but he still continued. Phil took his free hand and ran it through Dan's curls. 

  
     Dan was lost in Phil's eyes. Even though it was nighttime and the only thing illuminating them were the stars and the moon, Phil's eyes were still so beautiful. Their faces were so close, he decided to close the gap. Phil kissed back and even deepened the kiss by slipping his tongue into Dan's mouth, exploring every inch that he could. Dan let out a small, indescribable noise. Phil moved his hand from Dan's hair to his waist and continued to kiss him. Kisses that began as chaste and slow soon enough became very intimate and passionate.

  
    Dan pulled back a moment, catching his breath. "Do you think we should go back inside? I think it's gonna get colder." Phil nodded.

 

    When they got inside, Phil threw Dan against the closest wall. Not hard enough to leave any bruises, but hard enough to make Dan smirk devilishly. They kissed passionately for several mintues. Phil took Dan's hands and pinned them above his head before going to Dan's neck. Phil kissed and sucked,  Dan groaning in pleasure. Pink and purple marks were already visible on Dan's neck.

  
    Phil bit at Dan's collarbone. He released Dan's hands and they went directly to the back of Phil's neck. Phil brought his hands to Dan's back, pulling closer but still continuing to kiss him.

  
    "Jump." Phil whispered in Dan's ear, softly biting on it afterwards. Dan did what he was told and clung to Phil like a koala.

  
      As Phil walked, slowly trudging down the hall to the bedroom, Dan kissed his neck. With each step closer, it seemed to Phil that his heart sped up with each sloppy stride. He had a feeling of anticipation, but he was nervous all the while.

  
     When they reached the bedroom, Phil sat Dan down and made sure to close the door. When Phil turned back around, Dan was right in front of him. He put a hand on Phil's chest. They began to kiss again as Dan's hand traveled upward and unbuttoned the top button on Phil's shirt. Then the next button. And the one after that. Soon enough Phil's shirt was on the ground and out of the way.

  
     He ran his hands all over Phil's chest and stomach. His skin really was soft. Phil shivered at the touch. They kept kissing, enjoying the taste of the other person. Loving that their lips fit together perfectly, like they were meant for each other.

  
      Dan pulled back and bent over to take his shoes and socks off. Phil did the same and set his next to Dan's. He stood back up and stepped forward, making Dan teasingly take a step back. They did this until Dan reached the bed, Phil pressing him down on it. Phil climbed on top of Dan, straddling him.

  

    Dan ran his hands up and down Phil's back as they made out. He brought his hands to Phil's ass making him groan into their kiss. Phil removed his hands briefly so he could get Dan's shirt off of him, to which they returned to where they previously were. Phil let one hand travel through Dan's hair as the other lightly glided across his chest. Dan arched his back wanting more. Phil flicked a finger over Dan's nipple making him suck in. 

 

     Phil tugged on a handful of Dan's curls and began to kiss his very sensitive neck. He added onto the hickies and grazed his teeth over the skin before softly biting down on it. Dan moaned at the sensation and was a squirming mess underneath Phil. Phil grinded down onto Dan's writhing form.

   Phil knew Dan was getting hard and it would soon become painful, especially since he was beginning to have the same situation, but he still wanted to mess with him a little bit. 

 

   Phil moved his hands downward. He looked at Dan with a smirk on his face, eyes blown with lust. Dan nodded when Phil put his hands on Dan's upper thighs, seeing what Phil was getting at. Phil unbuttoned Dan's jeans and slowly pulled down the zipper. He pulled down the black skinny jeans and took them off completely. Not really caring where they were thrown, as long as they weren't a problem anymore. Both of their hearts were racing.

 

     Phil got back in place and ran his hand along the waistband of Dan's boxers. Dan squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation. Phil slowly pulled down the boxers and they were assigned the same fate as the jeans. 

 

      Before doing anything else, Phil took a moment to relish how beautiful Dan was. "Do ssomething." Dan breathed.  

 

  Leaving Dan, Phil walked over to his suitcase and pulled out the bottle of lube he had bought a few weeks ago, along with a condom. He sat them down on the bed and stepped back waiting until Dan opened his eyes again. When he did, he watched as Phil pulled down his pants and then his boxers. 

 

    Phil smirked as he picked up his jeans and began to fold them. "Phiiil." Knowing Dan had had enough, he dropped the jeans and walked back over to him. 

 

     Phil took the bottle of lube and coated his fingers in it. "Are you ready?" Dan nodded and Phil began with one finger. It wasn't particularly painful but it was uncomfortable. Phil moved his finger around and soon added a second. This one hurt, Dan wouldn't lie. But he knew Phil was trying to be as gentle as possible, so he told him to add the third. Phil continued moving his fingers around until Dan let out a moan. Phil did this again and he saw the expression of pleasure on Dan's face.  

 

      Phil slid his fingers out and put on the condom. Using the lube again, Phil looked at Dan. "If you're uncomfortable at any point I'll stop. Just tell me, okay?" Phil waited for Dan's nod. Once it was received, Phil slowly pushed in and waited until Dan was ready. 

    Once he nodded, Phil began to thrust in and out. Pain was a distant memory as pleasure coursed through Dan. Phil picked up speed and Dan became a moaning mess. Phil shifted and hit the same spot that made Dan moan out earlier. Dan yelled as Phil continued to hit the same spot with every thrust. The string of curse words he used didn't really process but he knew he was yelling them because of how good he felt.

 

   Dan was about to touch himself when Phil began to do it for him. Phil matched his thrusts and Dan began to feel a familiar, warm feeling building in his stomach. The way Phil was making him feel was indescribable and he knew it wouldn't be much longer before he needed a release. 

  

   "Phil...I..." He was unable to form a proper sentence, or any sentence really. But Phil understood and sweeped the curls that were sticking to Dan's forehead to the side and out of his face. 

 

  "It's alright. Do it." Phil whisered reassuringly. And that was all he needed. When Dan let out the white streams of liquid, he clenched around Phil making him follow right after. 

 

     Phil pulled out and crashed beside Dan, taking some tissues from the bedside table and cleaning them off. He disposed of the condom and tissues. Phil grabbed their boxers that had been thrown to the ground and handed Dan his. 

 

     After crawling into bed, Dan immediately put an arm around Phil and slotted a leg between his. Dan nuzzled his face into Phil's back and was asleep within mintues.

  
  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry.
> 
> Thanks for the views and kudos!!! Feedback is always much appreciated!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the views and kudos beans! Comments are always much appreciated.  
> Also, prepare yourself for the angst train again because the path isn't straight (pun intended).  
> Yeah I'm sorry it's very late (I'm always late) and I'm kinda on autopilot so sorry if this chapter isn't everything you dreamed of. And I'm rambling now so I'll stahp.

 

    "You comfortable Dan?" Phil said as Dan closed his eyes after laying down in the cab that was surprisingly big enough. Maybe it was one of those odd American things to have larger cabs. Like their weird reasons to call the "pavement" a "sidewalk". But maybe not, and this specific cab was an exception.

 

    Either way, his legs weren't crunched up uncomfortably. So Dan savored the opportunity and put his head in Phil's lap. Dan mumbled an "Mhm." before he slowly fell into slumber on their (rather long, in Phil's opinion) ride to the airport. 

 

    Phil gingerly ran his fingers through the soft brown curls that Dan had _finally_ embraced. And he loved it. He loved that Dan loved it. Phil always thought it suited him better than his straight hair. 

 

    The older boy watched as Dan peacefully slept. "I love you" he whispered to Dan as he gently rubbed his thumb across Dan's cheek. 

-

 

   Dan set his laptop aside and looked back at his boyfriend. "I don't think that went well." Phil put a hand on Dan's back to offer reassurance. "It could have went worse. Yes, they did think we were on our honeymoon, but that isn't too bad of a thing to think." Phil smiled. Dan nodded and smiled, dimple showing.

 

    Dan hugged Phil, his voice now muffled. "You gonna to be in all of my livestreams now, Philly?" "I don't know, do you want me to be?" Dan pulled back from the hug and shrugged nonchalantly. "Well, they'll get a _lot_ more views." "Dan, are you using me for views?" "Perhaps. What are you gonna do about it?" Dan smirked. Phil returned the same facial expression before roughly kissing Dan and pressing him down on the couch. 

 

    He carded his fingers through Dan's hair and tugged, eliciting a whine from Dan. A whine that sent a shiver down Phil's spine. His hands traveled down until they reached the hem of Dan's shirt. Phil's gripped it and pulled it over Dan's head. Who knows where it ended up?

 

    Still on top of Dan, Phil sat up and his shirt was assigned the same fate. Phil kissed Dan's chest and stomach, traveling downwards. Dan was involuntarily arching his back, as Phil began leaving hickies on Dan's stomach. Without saying anything Phil pulled Dan's pants and boxers down, pushing them down to his ankles. Phil moved further down and put his mouth around Dan's-

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

     After a span of a little over half an hour, Dan rejoined Phil in the lounge. He sauntered over to the couch and sat down beside the ethereal man who had been in too preoccupied watching a hilarious cat gif to even notice his presence. Dan sniffed and wiped his runny nose with the sleeve of his sweater. Dan assumed the browsing position and opened his laptop. 

 

    Phil removed his noise cancelling headphones and looked over at Dan. Instead of seeing the nerdy, sarcastic man of dirty jokes, Phil saw the face that reminded him of the Dan from a few months ago. The Dan that was drunk and hurt. The Dan that wanted nothing more than to just hold Phil's soft hand and kiss his beautiful pale nose and make him laugh everyday no matter how he felt. 

 

    Dan saw Phil looking at him out of the corner of his eye, but he continued to scroll though the Tumblr vortex. He saw the solicitous expression that was plastered all over Phil's stunning and ravishing face. Dan had just stopped crying, yet he was almost on the verge of tears once again (And Tumblr honestly wasn't _any_ help). 

 

 

    Phil didn't say anything when Dan didn't. He didn't question him when his tears finally fell in giant streams down his face.

    Phil did hug Dan when he moved his laptop out of the way and leaned into him. He rubbed Dan's back and whispered sweet words of comfort even though he had no idea what was making his Bear cry like this.

 

   

    "Yo-you'd...think..." Dan couldn't get his words out. He was getting Phil's shirt wet with tears and snot, but it didn't matter to Phil. Dan as sobbing and Phil had no idea why. 

 

   Instantaneously, Dan pulled back and began to wipe his face. While trying to regain his composure, Phil's handed Dan a few tissues. Dan tried to wipe away the evidence of his sudden disintegration and loss of cohesion, but his face was still red and his eyes puffy.

 

    "Bear, do you want to talk abou-" Dan cut Phil off when he stood up and grabbed his phone from the table and shoved it in the pant pocket of his black skinny jeans.  "I'm going to go on a little walk. I'll be back in...I don't know, an hour?" Dan stated. Before Phil could get in a single word, he was down the stairs, putting on his black jacket, and leaving the flat to enter the frigid London late-night weather. 

 

-

 

    Dan walked around blindly, letting his feet carry him until he found himself in a park. Since it was late, noone else was in sight. He found a bench and sat on it, putting his face in his hands. He knew it had been over an hour and his phone was buzzing in his pocket. He knew it was Phil and he knew he should at least tell him that he is alright. Yet, Dan pulled out his phone and turned it completely off. 

 

   The words of his parents echoed in his head. He loved Phil and wasn't apologizing for liking a guy instead of a women like he was "supposed" to, but he expected his parents to handle this better. He didn't think they would yell or act like he had murdered someone. He probably should've told Phil why he was crying like he couldn't stop, but walks always helped to clear his mind. It was what he needed.

 

    Dan sat in the silent park for awhile just thinking. It was serene and Dan enjoyed the escape. But his peace was shattered when a sordid voice broke the calm silence. "Howell." The sound of his voice was sour to Dan. He stood up because he remembered this horrific voice and wanted no part of it. He began to walk away and towards the flat.

 

   But the voice followed. "You know, it is rude to just walk away like that when someone is talking to you. Howell." Dan felt a large hand grip his shoulder and forcefully turn him around. He was greeted to the face of Alex. The last time he saw Alex it was not pleasant and Dan knew that this time would be no different.

 

    "You little shit. I know you're dating Phil. You don't listen, do you? Do I need to show you how to do that?" Before Dan could do anything, Alex's grip had tightened until extreme pain was radiating from Dan's shoulder. "Ah." 

 

    Yet he kept squeezing harder, making Dan fall to the ground. The force to which he did this made Dan's knees hurt tremendously. Alex let go because he knew Dan wouldn't dare move. He walked around Dan and put a foot on Dan's back, and pushed him down until he lay completely on the ground. Dan closed his eyes and let it happen, he knew it would be over soon. 

 

    Alex kicked his side multiple times making Dan yell out in pain. He flipped Dan over and took his arms. He pulled the sleeves of his sweater up to show the scars from months ago that he could still see, even when only illuminated by streetlights. Alex let out a horrid laugh. "You're so weak. Why does Phil even love you? You're so useless." 

 

    In Alex's continuation of laughter, Dan, still laying on the ground, kicked Alex in the crotch with all the strength he could muster. "GAh!" Alex recoiled in pain. Dan took this opportunity and stood up, ignoring the pain he was in. But before he could go anywhere, Alex was already in front of him. Dan balled up his fist and was about to punch Alex but he caught his fist and twisted Dan's fist with so much force, it made an unflattering noise. "Fuck."

 

    The amount of pain that came from his wrist stood out way more than everything else. With his other hand, Alex punched Dan in the eye, pushing him back a few steps. Before Dan could react, Alex used his foot and kicked Dan in the chest, knocking him down. 

 

    As his head collided with the cement, he heard the terrifying snicker of Alex. And then his world went Black. A dark and sinister, yet calming Black. Welcoming, but poisoning. But still, just Black. And silence. Screaming Black silence.

 

 

-

 

 

    When Dan awoke, he felt numb. He didn't hurt, he just felt numb. His eyes felt heavy. He was in a hospital, he concluded after seeing the bland,white room. An equally boring cast adorned his wrist, covering his fingers almost completely. He found himself in a hospital gown. Even though he hadn't seen them yet, he knew there were many bruises and they had to be ugly colors. The only thing that stood out in the white room, was the Oshawott plushie that happily sat at the foot of his bed...

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OooOOooh didn't expect a cliffhanger now did ya? Love yall.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is late(as always). I was going to post it a few days ago but I was sick as crap, then I had to visit more family, and I've kinda been having this crappy existential crisis(woo life). SO sorry this isn't too well written. I sped though it so yall could have something to read. I apologize.  
> Sidenote. I know absolutely nothing about hospitals so none of this is probably accurate at all.

 

 

     "Mr. Howell. Daniel Howell." Dan diverted his attention to the doorway and somewhat saw a nurse holding a clipboard. Dan's left eye is swollen because of his punch to the eye from Alex. The nurse was wearing beige scrubs. "That is your name right?" Dan grunted in agreement. "Okay. Well you broke your wrist and have a black eye. You're severely bruised and I'm surprised you didn't break anything else. A man with pink hair brought you here. He didn't seem to really know anything about you but several of our nurses recognized you as someone who makes videos for the internet..." The nurse looked up from his keyboard and smirked. 

 

    "For fucks sake I'm not a porn star. I'm a YouTuber." The nurses face went red from embarrassment but Dan couldn't tell from the distance. "My apologies Daniel-" "It's Dan. Just Dan." The nurse nodded and continued talking. All of which was going right past Dan as he was staring at the plushie at his feet. "The man that brought me here...is he still here or what?" The nurse remained silent for a moment. "Um. He's in the lobby. Visiting hours don't start for another twenty minutes, but I think I could get him in." "Thank you." 

 

    Several minutes later, in walked the same short, magenta-haired man that was so kind as to let Phil and Dan ride the ferris wheel. "Henry?" The shy man nodded and pulled a chair over and sat beside Dan. "Thank You." "Of course. Plus, yall had forgotten your Oshawatt." Henry whispered. Dan smiled weakly at the younger man. "Did you happen to save my phone?" Henry looked at his brown satchel and got out Dan's phone. "It was in your pocket but they changed you into the hospital gown so I held onto it for you." Henry revealed Dan phone that, by some miracle, wasn't cracked. "Call Phil...please." It came out as a plea. 

 

    Henry did as he was told and turned Dan's phone on and scrolled through the contacts until he saw Phil's. He clicked on it and put it on speakerphone. It barely had time to ring before Phil picked up. "Dan! Dear God I was so worried you weren't answering or anything and-" Phil was shouting loudly and it made Henry jump. "Um...Excuse me..." Phil stopped completely. "Who is this?!" Dan hadn't heard Phil this worried in awhile. Henry flinched. "Um...D-Dan is in the hospital beca-"  Henry began but was interrupted again by Phil. "Is he alright? Jesus I'm on the way now." Dan heard Phil moving around. "Phil!" He heard Phil drop something. Henry passed the phone to Dan. 

 

    "Phil I'm alright, okay?" "...Okay..." "Calm down please. Visiting hours are starting soon so you'll be able to get in. It's all good. And I probably won't be in here much longer anyway. It's not that bad." "I'll be there soon, I love you." "I love you too Lion."

 

-

 

    Dan and Henry stayed in silence until Phil burst through the creaky hospital door. "Bear! Oh my Gosh..." Phil looked at the black cast and the swollen eye. He saw bruises scattered on his boyfriend. These were not the usual bruises that Dan were given. The ones that Phil gave him were lust-driven and passionate. But these were forcefully given to hurt him. Hurt _his_ Bear.

 

    Phil is angry but also happy that Dan is now safe. He walked over to the side of his bed and Henry got out of his seat and sat in one on the other end of the room so Phil could sit down. Phil took Dan's hand, the one that wasn't wrapped in a cast, and squeezed it softly. He didn't want to cause him more pain. "I love you." Dan whispered and Phil replied with the same loving words. Phil put a hand on Dan's cheek and lightly brushed his thumb across it. 

 

    Phil turned around and looked at Henry. "Thank you...So-um...What happened exactly?" Henry frowned and looked at the ground.

 

"Alex."

 

    Phil's face went blank. Henry bit his lip in anxiousness. "Alex." Phil mouthed, looking back at Dan. It was as if a flip was switched. Dan had seen this expression many times while being friends with Phil. And Dan knew that a shitstorm was about to happen. It was the look of nothingness to some. But shit was about to hit the fan.

 

    Phil let go of Dan's hand and pushed his glasses up on his face. He looked at the foot of the bed and at the plushie that Dan had won for him. He picked the plushie up and tucked it under Dan's arm. 

 

    " _Bear_. I'm going to ask you this _once,_  and I'm going to get the answer." Phil said emotionless. Dan gulped. "That night when you got drunk...was it _him_  that hurt you?" 

 

    Dan thought about that night. He was full of so many emotions yet felt nothing at all. He had sported blood on his arms that had dried over his vicious cuts. The angry lines that are all still visible today. He hadn't had an appetite and felt no need to eat. He was a mess that night. A drunken mess. And then Alex came and told him to stay away from Phil. He told him with not only words, but punches. 

 

   "Dan?" Phil shook Dan out of his thoughts. He licked his lips that were suddenly very dry. "Yes." Dan said barely above a whisper. 

 

    Phil stood up and walked over to Henry. "What is your phone number?" Phil handed Henry his phone and watched as he put in the digits. He handed it back and looked up at Phil. "Now, you are going to take me to that _asshole_ so I can sort this out." Phil smiled as if he had just seen a kitten. "Who says I know him personally, let alone know where he lives?" Henry said standing up, but still having to look up to Phil because he is so tall. Phil took a step closer and began to whisper in Henry's ear. "I know you know Alex because you know _of_  him. I asked you what happened and you told me it was Alex. You could have told me anything but you knew it was him. And I know you know him personally because you get anxious and recoil whenever he is mentioned. You two obviously don't get along for whatever reasons. So tell me, Henry, where does Alex live?" 

 

    Henry took a step back and looked at Dan. "We-We'll be back soon hopefully." He whispered. Phil walked back over to Dan and kissed him. "He'll never hurt you again Bear." Dan knew it wouldn't be any good to try to stop Phil so he said nothing as he watched Phil leave the room with the magenta haired boy that helped him. 

 

-

 

    Phil and Henry sat in silence in the cab until it stopped at their destination. Phil was about to open the door when Henry stopped him. "Wait." He whispered. 

 

    Phil turned to Henry. "I have to tell you something..." Phil nodded, still expressionless.

 

 

 

 

     "Alex is my brother." 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback is appreciated.  
> Smile my frens...and remember  
> IT'S IMPORTANT TO STAY HYDRATED...huh.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter something #  
> [Note: Don't hate me too much for this chapter]  
> Prepare your emotions.  
> I've been delayed on chapters before, but this is a whole new definition of late. What? four months?  
> Jeez.  
> My bad

 

 

    Phil tapped his foot waiting for Henry to lead the way to the house of Satan himself. Okay, perhaps that's a bit of an exaggeration. But Alex is an arse.

 

 

    When they got inside, Alex stood up and stared at Phil in confusion. He then smiled and opened his arms to hug Phil. Phil raised an eyebrow and punched Alex square in the face , knocking him out. His unconscious body fell to the floor.

 

 

  -~-~-~-~-~-

 

 

    "Woah. Woah. Woah." Dan closed the laptop. "What?" Phil looked at Dan. "Phil. I understand that this is phanfiction and everything...but you just wouldn't punch someone."

 

 

  Phil balled up his fists and pretended to punch Dan. "Oh really? I'll bop you in the snoz!" Dan rolled his eyes and pushed Phil's hands away. "Calm down mate."

 

 

  "Anyway, what was it that you wanted to play for the gaming channel?" Dan shifted on the couch as he spoke. "Chapstick challenge?"

 

 

Phil wiggled his eyebrows. "I've had enough of you." "Sorry, we've just been reading that story for so long, can't tell if this is reality." Phil said, staring at his hands.

 

 

  "I'm going to my room before you give me an existential crisis, Lester." Dan grabbed his laptop and left the room. "Whatever you say, Bear!" Phil could hear Dan groan from down the hall.

 

 

-

 

Dan set his phone inside the open cabinet, letting it lean against the Nutella. He pressed the ' _go live'_ button. He thought it was convenient that he could stream anywhere on his phone. Although, Dan liked sitting at a computer better when it came to livestreams. But he thought he might as well reveal another part of the new apartment since they haven't made a baking video yet.

 

" 'ello everyone. I'm mak-"

 

  Phil walked into the kitchen and made a random animal noise, interrupting Dan's intro.

 

"What'cha making?" Phil said leaning against the counter. "Stir Fry." Phil stared at it in awe. "It's a wok Phil." He rolled his eyes. "I'll wok you in the face. I know what it is" "Then why are you staring at it?" Phil shifted on his feet and folded his arms. "Because I'm hungry and the smell lured me in. We've only been ordering pizza since we moved. It's about time." Phil smiled. "I'm not your butler, you could've come in here and made something." Dan retorted. "Oh, but you're simply one hell of a butler." Phil's grin grew as the words left his lips. "Don't you bring anime into this." Phil had succeeded in making Dan smile too.

 

 

   "So are we gonna ever continue what we started rea-" Dan shot a quick glance at the audience. "Not picking up on what you all think. You nasties. Phil and I were-uh." Insert face palm. "We were reading phan fiction." Phil shrugged. "You were the one who said fan fiction was just creative writing. No face palm necessary." "Yes Phil I know I said that. But I think us, of all people, shouldn't be reading it daily. But to answer your question, I think we should take a break on that."

 

 

    "But the plot twists were getting good." Phil pouted. "To you they might have, but I didn't appreciate getting the shit beat out of me. And people assuming that I was a pornstar." Phil snorted. "That one was funny though."

 

 

   Dan's phone went off, signaling their dinner's readiness. He shuffled over to the cabinet to turn the alarm off. "Why don't you put the audience at the table, so they can eat with us. I'll bring our food." Phil made a few more sound effects. "Gotcha. C'mere guys, you all can set at the red chair."

 

 

-

 

 

  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a pretty short chapter, but I thought I should at least give yall something after not posting for months. Plus leaving yall with all those cliffhangers, I had to have a chapter that ended sorta-kinda stable. But I'm back and alive so don't kill me for this twist.

**Author's Note:**

> Should I continue this? If you have any suggestions for this fic, let me know in the comments.


End file.
